


Whither Thou Goest

by Geekgrrllurking



Category: Guiding Light
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-05-04
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-26 17:49:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7584070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geekgrrllurking/pseuds/Geekgrrllurking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Olivia’s confession in the cemetery was so heartfelt, I really have a hard time thinking that Natalia would have continued with the wedding of doom. So I’ve taken it and created my own AU Springfield to play in. The first part is a bit of a recap of the episode, but we move on after that so bear with me.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Olivia’s confession in the cemetery was so heartfelt, I really have a hard time thinking that Natalia would have continued with the wedding of doom. So I’ve taken it and created my own AU Springfield to play in. The first part is a bit of a recap of the episode, but we move on after that so bear with me.

 

A bitter wind blew across Springfield cemetery, an early warning of the snowstorm making its way east. Clouds scudded across the grey sky, the bare trees rattling and moving with the breeze, old dead leaves rolling across the brittle grass. Tombstones and monuments stood huddled along the hillside, silent testament to the drama enfolding before them.

 

“We’re doing the right thing though, you know.” Natalia Rivera wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince more, herself or the woman obviously in pain in front of her. “We are, because it’s the best thing for everybody. Best thing for Frank and Rafe and Emma, for all of us.” A little treacherous voice inside her screamed that if this wedding was such the right thing to do then why did it feel so wrong? Natalia just pushed those thoughts away, stuffing them deep down into the darkest recesses of her heart.

 

“That is what is important.” Olivia Spencer quickly agreed. She just wanted this day to be over, to get through it all as fast as possible, like ripping a Band-Aid off, and then she could let herself fall apart. She didn’t think that was so much to ask. “That’s what’s important.” Oh, God this hurt so damn much. A little gasp of sadness escaped, before Olivia sighed and looked down, starting to cry harder again.

 

“If you know that, then why are you crying” Natalia’s heart was breaking, Olivia was in such pain. She took a small step forward, the need to touch Olivia overwhelming, to soothe the hurt, to hold her until the ache went away.

 

“Because, I’m crying…” Olivia stepped back, knowing that if Natalia touched her she would be lost. She needed to hold in what she desperately wanted to say.

 

“Because…” Olivia just shook her head, trying to come up with yet another way to change the topic, taking them back to safe ground. “Just…” Get her focused on the wedding Spencer, ok, good plan.

 

“You should go, you’re getting married, come on.” Olivia stuffed her hands in her pockets and tried to summon some excitement for her friend’s big day, instead of feeling like another funeral she had to attend.

 

“You should go and try on your dress and sip champagne and look for something old and something new…” She blinked at the building tears, her heart shattering in her chest at the thought of Natalia walking down the aisle and out of her life for good.

 

“Tell me what’s wrong!” Natalia was getting really worried now and a little angry. This was important, whatever Olivia was going through, and she needed to hear it. Deep down she didn’t dare hope that Olivia felt the same way she did.

 

“… and something borrowed…” Olivia kept trying not to say what was on the tip of her tongue. Her eyes were burning from the unshed tears, her heart was racing, thundering in her ears, the desire to finally come clean almost overwhelming.

 

“Just tell…” Natalia grew more panicked as she watched Olivia seem to crumble before her eyes, trying so hard to change the topic, to not discuss what needed to be said between them. They’d been dancing around each other for far too long, it was time to face the music.

 

“…and something blue. Just go be with your groom. Please, you don’t want to be here…” Tears choked her voice as Olivia started to lose the tight reigns of control she had kept for so long. Natalia needed to be anywhere but here, this was just too hard, she would ruin everything like usual.

 

“I want to know why you’re upset…” Natalia pleaded with her weeping friend, the tears streaming down the other woman’s flushed cheeks breaking something down deep inside.

 

“…you don’t want to know!” Olivia Spencer hissed, backed into a corner now, lashing out, trying to protect herself, to protect Natalia from the unwanted knowledge. As hard as letting Natalia go was, not having her in her life at all was unacceptable. If she threw away their friendship, Olivia didn’t even want to contemplate it.

 

“I do!” Natalia needed to know what was going on with Olivia. She just wanted to take the pain out of the woman’s gorgeous green eyes. She knew she just needed to keep pushing Olivia for the truth. She truly believed that the truth will set you free.

 

“I’m in love with you!” Olivia exploded, the pent up emotions erupting, desperately needing to come out. Stunned that she had actually said the words that have been on the tip of her tongue for what seemed like forever, Olivia took a shaky step forward.

 

“I’m in love with you.” Whispered this time, afraid of what her confession would bring and yet so relieved that she had finally said the words. Olivia covered her mouth and waited for the fall out. She waited for the woman she loved to run screaming, cast her away, thrown out of her life forever. What the hell had she been thinking? She knew she should have just kept quiet. This was not something Natalia wanted or needed to hear now, on her wedding day.

 

Natalia stared in disbelief. And yet she wasn’t surprised, not really. It had been something slowly building, growing between them. She felt it and Olivia obviously felt it. And yet Olivia had pushed her to get married, thinking it was for the best. Shouldn’t she be the one to decide what, or _who_ she wanted?

 

Frank. God, how could she possibly marry him now? Natalia needed time to think, to process this new and different possibility. It’s one thing to have feelings for Olivia, it’s another to know that they are returned. Olivia stepped forward and grabbed her cold hands, bringing them to her chest and drawing her out of her own jumbled thoughts.

 

“I’m in love with you.” Olivia smiled sadly. “And that’s why I want you to be with someone who can make you happy and can give you the life that you deserve. And I can’t do that for you!” Olivia squeezed the tiny hands held in her own. She had to make Natalia understand she wanted only the best for her. It was the only thing keeping her sane at the moment.

 

“Olivia…” Natalia whispered, stepping closer still, eyes tearing. Olivia _loved_ her. That was the only thing still ringing in her ears. That was what was important here, couldn’t she see that?

 

“Don’t say anything. It’s ok.” Olivia brought the chilled hands to her chest, resting them against her racing heart. Now that she had said the words it was as if a felling of calm had come over her. ” I just… I can’t keep quiet., I’ve stopped myself so many times and I’ve lost my nerve. I’ve stuffed my feelings down, I just can’t do it anymore. Y’know, I say screw it, because this might be my last chance to set the record straight”

 

“Once you say something…” Natalia started, swallowing hard, knowing that if Olivia was so brave, then maybe it was time for her to stand up as well. She was just so confused and if she was totally honest, afraid.

 

“You can’t unsay it, I know ok, you told me that.” Olivia looked at their entwined hands, needing to explain as best she could while she had the chance. Who knew if they would ever discuss this again, if she could ever be this honest again? Taking a breath she looked up and met Natalia’s dark eyes, letting herself finally show her true feelings for her.

 

“Look, I don’t know when this happened I...I just know that somewhere along the way you stopped just being my roommate, and my friend or Emma’s other mommy or the person who gave me Gus’ heart. You became the woman I love.” Olivia paused, heart thundering, still amazed that she could say it finally out loud. And Natalia was still standing there, listening.

 

“And I know that it’s a sin in your book and I get that.” She noted that Natalia looked away at that point. She swallowed down the hurt and kept going. “And I get that Frank can give you love and security and a home for you and Rafe, and you know what, I could give you a home too, but it would never be as safe as anything Frank can offer you."

 

“Safe is not the most important thing…” Natalia stared hard, wanting to say so much more yet afraid to take that last step into the unknown, to join Olivia in the deep end of the pool. Her brave Olivia.

 

“All I can offer you is whispering and cancelled play dates for Emma and tormenting Rafe at a time when he really needs to feel like he can make a fresh start.” Olivia felt her stomach churn, their world was not going to accept this so easily. She needed to spare Natalia and their family this pain, because of her selfish love. No she would not do it to them.

 

“We’ve survived all the whispering and cancelled dates before and Rafe has survived prison.” Natalia started to realize that maybe this was something she could do. In fact she was beginning to think that this was something she wanted to do. Together they could handle this, together they could handle anything.

 

“It would be so much worse,” Olivia continued to argue her point, terrified that she would destroy the one good thing in her life. Her love was toxic, couldn’t Natalia see that? “It would just be a world of trouble and I don’t want that for you.”

 

“We’ve handled trouble before…” Natalia heard the fear in Olivia’s voice, but she also heard the love above all else. She was sure that with time they could figure it all out. They just needed time to process this all.

 

“You’re going to get hurt. I cant…I can’t live with that.” Olivia stood and watched the emotions flit across Natalia’s face. “I love you, but I don’t know what offering my love will do to you. I’ll ask you to change who you are and what you believe and then that would make this whole thing a lie, wouldn’t it?” Olivia knew that she had the winning argument and as much as she hated saying it, it was the truth.

 

“Don’t you know how much I…” Natalia stepped forward, she needed to say the words, to hold her friend and explain. She needed to tell this extraordinary woman what she felt too.

 

“Don’t…” Olivia’s hand touched her cheek and gently wiped away a tear with her thumb. “Don’t say it. Once you say it, you can’t take it back.” She didn’t think she could survive this if she knew Natalia felt the same. It was enough that she had said her piece. Now she needed to make sure that Natalia was happy and safe in a nice normal lifestyle with Frank. And then she could fall apart.

 

Natalia paused, knowing what Olivia had said was true. Searching her heart though, and seeing how tortured Olivia was, she realized that she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She didn’t want to hide it inside. It was big and messy and didn’t fit into any of her neat compartments, into any of her safe secure little worlds. Natalia’s eyes met Olivia’s and she saw everything she needed staring back at her. It was time to take the only thing she really wanted. It was time to fight for her family. It was time to say what was in her heart.

 

“Olivia,” Natalia lifted the beautiful face before her, their eyes locking making sure there was no way Olivia would misunderstand. “Don’t you know? I love you too.”

 

Silence except for the harsh wind blowing around them. And then Olivia sobbed, closing her eyes, and let the words wash over her, like a blessing, breaking down the last wall and setting her heart finally free. Natalia pulled her close, their foreheads touching making soothing sounds. Olivia’s heart pounded, the warmth and love surrounding her, and she let the tears fall slowly down her cheeks.

 

So wrapped up in the emotions, they almost didn’t hear the beep coming from Olivia’s pocket. Natalia pulled away and looked closer at Olivia. She was pale and drawn but it was cold out. With everything going on lately, she hadn’t been keeping as close an eye on Olivia’s health.

 

“Olivia, is that…?”

 

“Damn it!” Olivia pulled the small heart monitor device out of her pocket. Sure her heart was racing a bit, but she felt okay. Well maybe a little light headed but that was probably from all the crying. “I’m fine…”

 

Natalia didn’t believe her. Shaking her head at her own stupidity, she fished in her pocket for her car keys and made a decision. It felt damn good.

 

“I’ve finally found you, I am not losing you. Hospital. Now.” Natalia reached out to take her hand.

 

“Wait, what about the wedding?” Olivia cringed but she needed to make sure, needed Natalia to realize that there was still time to take that road if she wanted.

 

Natalia just stared at Olivia in disbelief.

 

“You can’t honestly believe that I’m still going to marry Frank do you?” Natalia just shook her head. Olivia looked down then glanced up, a quiet joy lighting her eyes.

 

“Ok, now that that is settled. I’m driving, let’s go.” Natalia grabbed her hand and led Olivia from the cemetery, and towards their new life.

  
 


	2. Chapter 2

Small flakes of snow were falling hard from the dark grey sky, the beginning of the snowstorm starting to really hit the area. Natalia flicked the wipers to intermittent and kept her eyes peeled for black ice. Springfield wasn’t a large town, but the beep, beep, beep of the monitor was a stark reminder of needing to be on the other side of it now. She looked over at Olivia, still quite pale and looking tired, more so as every minute passed.

 

“Natalia, it’s going to be fine.” Olivia tried to reassure both herself and Natalia. However it seemed to calm her more when Natalia finally smiled and reached across to hold her hand, the sure touch warming more than her freezing fingers.

 

Natalia turned the car left at the light and sped down the street taking the most direct route to Cedars Hospital. A cell phone suddenly rang, the tone loud in the quiet car. Natalia reluctantly let go of Olivia’s hand and pulled it from her purse to answer it.

 

“Natalia, I don’t want you to worry babe, but we have a small problem. I’m working on it as we speak…” Frank began. Natalia sighed at his anxious words. She could only handle one catastrophe at a time.

 

“Frank, I…” Natalia started and glanced over at Olivia, whose eye roll and slight smirk warmed her heart. God she loved this woman.

 

“Father Ray couldn’t make it. And I’ve tried Father Timothy, but…” Frank continued to ramble on, not even registering that his fiancée needed to say something. Natalia pulled a rolling stop at the sign, signaled and turned right, before abruptly braking for a squirrel that scampered out into the street. Letting it dash off to safety, Natalia tromped once more on the gas.

 

“Frank, listen I…” Natalia tried again to break into the ongoing wedding update.

 

“And Pops has headed over to the courthouse to see if we can find a judge to officiate…”

 

“Frank. Will you shut up and listen to me!” Silence greeted her from the other end. Maybe that had been a bit harsh. Natalia mentally shrugged, just happy with the result and tried to ignore the snort of laughter from the woman beside her. “Olivia’s having a heart issue and we’re on the way to Cedars.”

 

“Oh my God. Is she ok?” Frank could just make out the sound of beeping over the phone.

 

Natalia glanced over at the calm woman smiling softly beside her and fought back tears. If something bad happened to Olivia because of all this … she didn’t even want to think about it. This was all her fault damn it, she needed to fix it. Now.

 

“I need to be with her now Frank. Why don’t we call it a day? Apologize to everyone and just send them home.” A wave of guilt washed over her, but Natalia refused to dwell on it. She would take care of this later, postpone the wedding now and end it completely with him in private. He deserved that dignity at the very least.

 

“Of course.” Frank nodded. Today was just not going to work out and Natalia was obviously concerned about Olivia’s heart. “I’ll take care of everything on this end. I’ll get Rafe and Emma back to the farmhouse.”

 

“Thank you Frank. I’m so sorry.” Natalia turned into the parking lot at Cedars Hospital and headed to the emergency entrance. “I’ve got to go. We’re here now.” With that she hung up.  Pulling quickly into a spot Natalia shut off the car and turned, all thoughts of her fiancé leaving her mind as she looked into the worried eyes of Olivia.

 

“Come on Trouble. Let’s get you taken care of…”

 

***

 

Dr. Rick Bauer put the stethoscope to Olivia’s back.

 

“Breathe.” Inhale. Exhale.

 

Olivia’s eyes never left an anxious Natalia standing quietly near the door, who reluctantly smiled back. Olivia still couldn’t believe Natalia had said the words. It was like she was on a cloud and she didn’t want to come down. One thought kept racing through her mind, as if on a permanent loop, making even this heart scare tolerable. _Natalia loves me_.

 

“And again.” Inhale. Exhale.

 

Rick nodded and stepped back to make a few notes on his clip board.

 

“Ok, you’re heart is racing a little. Have you been under a lot of stress lately?” Rick glanced over at Natalia and then back to Olivia.

 

“Well, a little I guess.” Olivia cleared her throat, and looked a little sheepish.

 

Natalia looked down and swallowed hard, realizing for the first time that there were real consequences to her actions. God, how horrible this whole Frank debacle must have been for Olivia. If the roles had been reversed how would she have coped?  It was all her fault. Well, she would just have to make it all right again.

 

“Planning my wedding and everything else probably didn’t help…” Natalia offered.

 

“That was my own fault for pushing that along, it wasn’t your fault…” Olivia tried to stop her from the guilt she knew Natalia would take as her own.

 

“Uh huh…”Rick interrupted. “And how about eating properly and getting enough sleep?” Rick looked at a squirming Olivia.

 

“Yeah, well, y’know…” Olivia started. She knew that the last few weeks had been hard on her. She hadn’t had much of an appetite and when she did eat it was often not the most nutritious meal. Not to mention all the…

 

“And what about drinking?” Rick raised an eyebrow, knowing his best friend’s ex quite well. Olivia was so busted. “We talked about all this before Olivia. Just because you have a new heart doesn’t mean you can just go on like you’re the Energizer bunny. Pop in a new heart and she keeps going and going. You need to recuperate, change your lifestyle. That means slowing down a little and taking some time to relax.”

 

Olivia glanced down at her hands. He was absolutely right of course and she had been dealing with, or rather not dealing with, her true feelings for Natalia by indulging in the bottle a bit more than was good for her.

 

“I’m sorry Dr. Rick.”

 

The room fell silent as the truth of the situation sank in. Rick snapped his folder shut and clicked his pen closed before stuffing it into his pocket.

 

“Well, luckily I think this was just stress induced. Your heart rate is still elevated slightly but within normal ranges. However I want to keep you in overnight for observation…”

 

“What!” Olivia felt fine, better than fine. She felt like she was walking on air, floating on clouds. There was so much yet to talk to Natalia about. She couldn’t be trapped in Cedars with the nurses using her as a pin cushion.

 

“Olivia!” Natalia’s mom voice stopped all protests that might have been coming. “You will do as Rick says.” Natalia’s eyes brooked no argument and Olivia knew it would be useless to try. Rick smiled at Olivia knowing that he had won.

 

“Ok then. Wait here. I’ll just get a nurse to take you to your room once it’s ready.” Rick wandered out into the hallway and headed towards the nursing station.

 

“Natalia, I’m so sorry for ruining everything…” Olivia started to say as Natalia came closer and held her hands, running her fingers along the soft skin, the simple act soothing so much still churning deep inside.

 

“Stop it right there. You have ruined nothing. In fact all you did was be brave and simply tell the truth. Something we needed to share before I really messed things up and hurt a good man.” Natalia glanced down at their entwined hands. “Before I hurt him more anyways.” She ran a hand through Olivia’s thick hair and tried to focus away from Frank and back on the woman before her.

 

“Natalia, it’s not too late. You can still have that life, the life you deserve…” Olivia began again. Maybe she could still talk her into the best option. It would kill her to see Natalia hurt because of her. Deep down Olivia was certain that one day she would hurt this amazing woman. Five marriages and untold men left behind like so much debris in her wake was surely enough proof of that.

 

“I already have the life I deserve, and I want it to go back to normal. I want you and Emma back at the farmhouse. I want to go back to the way it was for us. A real home. Surrounded by our little family. I want…” Natalia swallowed as the truth hit her hard. She raised a hand to caress a pale cheek waiting to catch the attention of the soft green eyes. “You.”

 

They simply stared at each other, savouring the truth of the moment. There was so much they still had to say to each other, problems to overcome, a hard road to follow. Today was just the first step, but together the road suddenly didn’t seem as long.

 

“So I guess we should call those movers and have them bring my stuff back home?” Olivia watched entranced as a beautiful smile graced Natalia’s face, dimples stealing her breath away. Before she knew it Natalia had found her BlackBerry and was already handing it to her.

 

“Home it is.”


	3. Chapter 3

 

The snow had really built up by the time Natalia pulled up the driveway to the farmhouse that evening. Thankfully the tire treads from the moving van had packed down a trail and she could get to her home easily. The pathway had been shoveled and rock salt scattered and Natalia smiled, knowing Rafe had been busy.

 

Walking into the warm kitchen she was surprised to see both her babies, Rafe and Emma together at her stove, cooking.

 

“Well, this looks like trouble.” Natalia unzipped her black parka and put her hands on her hips, watching as two heads whipped around at the sound of her voice and was greeted with twin smiles.

 

“You’re home!” Emma flew across the few feet and latched onto Natalia, burrowing her little face against her warm stomach.

 

“So are you!” Natalia bent down to give her a hug, never wanting to let go.

 

“Where’s Mommy?” Emma looked back at the door, hoping to see her behind Natalia.

 

“Dr. Rick said she needed to stay overnight.” Natalia brushed the soft hair off of Emma’s forehead and dropped a quick kiss before standing back up again. “But if everything looks good, we can bring her home tomorrow instead. Okay sweetie?” Emma looked a little worried, but nodded her head.

 

“Hey Ma. The mover dudes put Olivia’s boxes in the living room and I got Emma’s stuff back upstairs. I can take the other ones up to Olivia’s room later, if you know which ones should stay downstairs.” Rafe stirred his sauce a bit more and then moved over to start mixing a salad.

 

“Did you unpack some stuff Emma?” Natalia wandered over to taste the sauce, watching her boy cook pleasing her so much. It was amazing to have him back, even if for only a little while. Now if Olivia was here their little family would be complete.

 

“I need to find my hat for the play tomorrow.” Emma mentioned absently, pulling knives and forks from the drawer and placing them on the table. Natalia sank down onto a chair, suddenly remembering the play at school. Was that tomorrow?

 

“Do you think Mommy will still be able to come?” Emma leaned against Natalia’s leg, not quite sitting on her lap.

 

“I’m not sure. We’ll ask Dr. Rick tomorrow and maybe she can still come to watch you. It starts at 10:30 right?” Natalia smiled as Emma dashed over to the fridge and pulled off the letter from her teacher putting the magnet back before running it back to her. The timing might be tight, but she’d try to get Olivia sprung in time.

 

“Oh yeah, Frank said to call him when you got in.” Rafe slid a steaming plate of spaghetti in front of his mother, happy that his surprise for her had gone so well. Emma hopped over and sat as he dropped her plate on the table too. He quickly grabbed his food and joined them. “He was going to stick around until you got home, but I told him that we had it under control here. Didn’t we Em?”

 

“Great…” Natalia murmured under her breath, grateful that Frank hadn’t stayed and then feeling bad about that. She sighed sadly not wanting to think about how she was going to handle things with him now. God, what a mess…

 

***

 

Finally unpacked and her small bedroom back to normal, Emma snuggled down under the blankets and looked up at Natalia. The light from the nightstand made her look all warm and golden and Emma couldn’t resist hugging her right then and there.

 

“I’m so glad we can stay here with you.” Emma murmured into Natalia’s shoulder. Natalia squeezed her back tight.

 

“Me too baby, me too…” Natalia’s voice cracked and she kissed the girl’s soft hair before letting her go again. “Will we call Mommy and wish her goodnight?”

 

“Yeah!” Emma lay back down and wiggled back down under the blankets, watching as Natalia dialed a phone number she had written down on a piece of paper. Natalia listened for a bit and then hit a couple more numbers then smiled and handed the cell phone to her.

 

“Go on, say hello…” Natalia whispered.

 

“Hello? Who’s there?” Olivia’s voice crackled through the line.

 

“Mommy?” Emma’s face lit up and Natalia’s heart clenched at the love radiating from the little girl. Natalia scooted onto the bed beside Emma so she could listen to the phone too.

 

“Emma!” Olivia sounded so far away.

 

“Me and Rafe made spaghetti tonight! And I helped dry the dishes too.” Emma beamed at Natalia, who smiled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

 

“You did? Wow. You’ll have to make some for me when I come home too.”  

 

“And if Natalia can’t get Dr. Rick to let you come home, Becky’s dad usually records all our plays so we could watch that when you get better.” Emma rambled on. Natalia could hear Olivia’s inhale of surprise. She’d forgotten too it would appear.

 

“Oh, that’s tomorrow! Right. Well, we’ll see what Dr. Rick has to say but maybe I’ll be there to see it myself.” Olivia heard Emma’s yawn through the phone line. “I think it’s time for someone to hit the hay. Is Natalia there?”

 

Emma looked across at Natalia and yawned again handing over the phone. Natalia sat up to talk on the phone, but her hand stayed in her hair gently playing with the strands.

 

“I’m here Olivia.”

 

Emma blinked up at Natalia, watching as her smile grew bigger. Mommy always knew how to make Natalia smile. Long fingers dragged through her hair and massaged her head a little. Her eyes started to droop a bit more.

 

“Emma, here’s your mom again.” Natalia handed the phone back down to the girl. “But Mommy wants me to do something first.” Natalia leaned down and planted a squeaky kiss on the girl’s cheek, making her giggle and then pulled away to let her talk to her mom.

 

“Goodnight Jellybean. I love you. Kiss Natalia goodnight for me too, ok?”

 

“Okay. Love you, night mommy.” Emma hit the end button and handed the phone to Natalia, before wrapping her arms around her neck and giving her a big squeaky kiss back on the cheek. They both giggled together and then moved apart.

 

“Mommy said to say goodnight to you too.” Emma lay back down on the pillow and Natalia sat on the side of the bed, pulling the blankets up around the sleepy girl’s neck. “I miss her.”

 

“I do too Bean,” Natalia sat for a few more minutes, watching the girl quickly fall asleep, the gentle rise and fall soothing something inside of her.

 

“I do too…”

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Natalia closed the farmhouse screen door with a creak and took her steaming mug of hot chocolate over to the bench on her porch. She could just make out the sound of the television as Rafe watched a basketball game. It was cold out but the stars were sparkling brilliantly in the night sky and she really just needed the peace and quiet.

 

What a life altering day it had been. It was hard to believe that she had gone from feeling trapped, and wanting to return her gorgeous wedding dress this morning to this moment, with her heart overflowing, Rafe safe under her roof and Olivia’s declaration of love still ringing in her ears. Natalia sent a silent prayer of thanks, thrilled at the mysterious way God worked.

 

Natalia leaned back on the bench and swirled her drink. Mysterious ways indeed. There was yet another relationship she needed to hammer out. Surely God wouldn’t punish her for loving Olivia. A part of her worried that she would lose the one thing that had been solid through all the trials in her life, the Church had always been there, the traditions and ceremony a comforting refuge during the dark times.

 

If the Church rejected her for who she was, Natalia only prayed that God at least wouldn’t. Her stomach churned at the idea of losing God. She needed to think more about this, and it wasn’t going to be solved over a cup of hot chocolate. Maybe she’d do some searching on the internet and see what other people have done in her situation. She obviously wouldn’t be only one who’s had to deal with this turmoil. When a door closes, doesn’t somewhere God open a window?

 

Natalia took a sip of her drink and sighed, knowing there was still one more thing to do before she could put her head down for the night. She slid her slim black cell phone open and dialed a number she knew by heart. She couldn’t put this off much longer.

 

“Hi honey. I was starting to get worried.” Frank’s deep voice was warm and familiar, safe. Natalia’s stomach spun again. She didn’t want safe anymore, at least not in the arms of Frank Cooper. “How’s Olivia?”

 

“She should be okay. Rick said that the racing and irregular heartbeats were probably stress induced but they kept her in overnight for observation. I just got Emma down for the night, sorry I didn’t call sooner.” Natalia stood and started to pace the length of the porch.

 

“Don’t give it a thought. I’m just glad she’s okay.” Frank grew quiet, knowing something was bothering Natalia. Buzz had been all but hounding him to call, as if he knew something more than he let on, but Frank had waited wanting Natalia to get settled back home first. However, this seed of concern Buzz had planted had grown to worry and Frank wished now that he had stayed at the farmhouse after all.

 

“I’m so sorry about today Frank.” Natalia finally broke the silence. She closed her eyes, trying to figure out the best way to do this, to get the wheels in motion to end it finally. She needed to do that in person and the sooner the better for all concerned. He was going to hate her. His family was going to hate her too. Natalia sighed again not looking forward to any of it.

 

“Hey, we can book the church again and this time get Father Ray lined up too. Don’t worry about a thing. Once Olivia is back on her feet we’ll all be good to go.” Frank could hear the sadness in her voice, she sounded so tired. It broke his heart to hear it.

 

 “Um, so can we get together for dinner soon? We should talk.” Natalia wiped away a tear. She hated that she was going to have to hurt this dear man, but better now than a sham of a marriage and a divorce. It would be so much better than that for everyone concerned.

 

“Sure sweetheart. We could check out that new restaurant downtown if you like.” Frank was antsy, never liking the phrase ‘we should talk’. Those warning bells were ringing again, but he put them out of his mind, ignoring them like so many times before. He was just being silly, worrying about nothing. Natalia loved him and everything else could be worked out together.

 

“Sounds good. I should go. Rafe and I haven’t had a chance to catch up much yet. Call me with the time tomorrow.” Natalia leaned against a post and stared up at the sky, mesmerized as a cloud passed over the moon. “Night Frank.”

 

Natalia slid her phone closed after he had said goodnight and sighed again. She took a sip of her now cold drink before staring back up at the silently listening moon.

 

“Nothing good ever comes easy, does it?”

 

***

 

Olivia flicked the small television from channel to channel, finding nothing but infomercials and reality TV shows. Her mind drifted back to the farmhouse, pleased at how happy Emma was right now back home again. Emma hadn’t been thrilled about having to pack up and go to the Beacon, and honestly neither had she.

 

“Well, I had to come see it for myself.” Mayor Doris Wolfe stepped inside the private hospital room, the door quietly closing behind her.

 

“Doris, what are you doing here?” Olivia turned the small television off and pushed it to one side, focusing on her surprise visitor.

 

“It’s good to see you too, you’re as charming as ever Olivia.” Doris’ heels clicked loudly on the polished floor as she dragged a chair closer to sit on. “I have to say I wondered how you would do it, and this was by far the most original way for you to break up the wedding. Bonus points to you on that one.”

 

“I didn’t set this up Doris. I really did have an incident today…” Olivia was beginning to wish the mayor would leave. When was visiting hours over anyway? “How did you find out anyway?”

 

“Buzz had rounded me up to officiate the wedding, and honestly I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” Doris tucked her coat over the arm of her chair and got comfortable. “I’d just got there and before I knew it Frank was sending everybody home saying that you were having some heart issues and Natalia was with you. I personally wondered if ‘heart issues’ was code for broken hearted?” Doris smirked as she leaned back and observed the woman in the hospital bed. Olivia seemed oddly at peace and happy and suddenly it all clicked.

 

“Oh my God, you told her how you felt, didn’t you?” The faint blush on Olivia’s cheeks told Doris everything she needed to know. She leaned over and swatted Olivia’s leg under the blanket. “Good for you!”

 

“Yeah, we’ve talked.” Olivia rolled her eyes and smiled. She still couldn’t believe it herself really but it was kind of nice to have somebody rooting for her.

 

“I take it she didn’t run screaming so she’s interested in you too?”  Doris prodded for details, the romantic in her wanting the whole story. If she couldn’t have a happy ending herself then she at least could live vicariously through others. The smile on Olivia’s face was adorable.

 

“She’s definitely interested in me too.” Olivia fiddled self consciously with the hem of her blanket. It felt so damn good to just say it out loud. “We haven’t had a chance to really talk it out yet.”

 

“The hardest part is over. Admitting it to yourself and then to each other, that takes guts.” Doris leaned back admiring the woman before her. Love definitely suited Olivia Spencer. A voice came over a loudspeaker, announcing that visiting hours were over in five minutes. It was time for her to go.

 

“How do you do it, Doris? Hide who you are from everyone.” Olivia wanted to know. She wasn’t sure yet how to handle it all herself. She just knew that she couldn’t keep this from her family, from her friends. It was too big a part of her life.

 

“There are too many people in my life that will be hurt. My daughter…” Doris grew quiet. She didn’t even want to think about it. “Not to mention my political career. The voting public is unforgiving. If I’ve lied about that what else have I lied about? No, it would have to be a very special person to make me give that all up.”

 

Doris pulled her scarf out of her jacket sleeve and wrapped around her neck before looking back up into understanding green eyes. A part of Doris wondered briefly if that person was in this room.

 

“But never say never, right? Maybe if the right girl comes along I’ll change my mind. But until then, my life works for me.” Doris stood and slid an arm into her coat. “There are no rules about being gay y’know. No one says you have to shout it from the tree tops. You’ll figure out what works for the two of you, both in and outside of the bedroom.”

 

Doris chuckled, enjoying the blush suddenly on Olivia’s face. Oh yes, Natalia was a very lucky girl indeed. Sauntering over to the door she couldn’t resist one final parting shot.

 

“Besides, you know if you’re really missing all the … dangling bits and pieces, you can always buy them.” Doris winked and disappeared out the door before Olivia could throw something at her.

 

Olivia tried really hard not to, but her mind so went there. With a vengeance.

 

“Damn it Doris Wolfe, you are an evil, evil woman…”

 

***

 

Natalia rolled to her side and stared out her bedroom window, watching the swirls of snow blow against the frosted panes. Sleep continued to elude her. She would close her eyes and be transported back to the cemetery, Olivia weeping on her knees, her tears haunting her still. So much pain she had caused her.

 

Snapping her eyes open again, Natalia rolled to the other side and stared at the bedroom door, light from the hallway falling through the slightly open door. Her cell phone on the night stand rang once and for a moment she was afraid it was Frank. But the caller id said that it was CedarsHospital, so she quickly picked it up.

 

“You need to come break me out. The nurses are all blood sucking vampires around here.” Olivia teased, the low sleepy tones of her voice warm and familiar but at the same time doing wonderful things to Natalia’s body.

 

“Is that right. Don’t they know about the Spencer Glare of Doom?” Natalia snuggled down into the blankets, barely able to contain the bubble of happiness in her chest.

 

“Oh, I’m wounded. I thought you were on my side here.”

 

“I’m always on your side.” Natalia’s voice grew husky, layers of meaning under the softly spoken words. She could hear Olivia swallow hard on the other end of the line and she wished she could see her eyes, they always spoke volumes. A small silence stretched and they listened to each other just breathe.

 

“Doris dropped by for a visit.” Olivia finally broke the spell. “Did you know she was going to officiate at your wedding today?”

 

“What?” Natalia barked, and then covered her mouth afraid she might have woken Emma.

 

“She said she wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” Olivia chuckled at the thought. It was funny now that the wedding had been canceled.

 

Natalia covered her eyes and groaned.

 

“I spoke with Frank…” Natalia paused, not sure how to explain her emotions, the heaviness that came with anything to do with him and his family.

 

“And?” Olivia quietly prompted as a part of her tensed with worry, afraid that Natalia had changed her mind after all.

 

“And we’re getting together to talk. I have to end it Olivia. I can’t leave everyone hanging like this, it’s not right.” Natalia rolled to her side and hugged a pillow. “Which reminds me, you helped him? All those sweet romantic gestures, it was you?”

 

“Erm… well…” Olivia stammered, she couldn’t believe Natalia actually knew. “Frank told you?”

 

“He mentioned it when we were talking with Father Ray this morning.”

 

Olivia rolled her eyes and sighed. Frank really was an idiot.

 

“Here I thought he knew me so well, that he really got me, but it’s been you the whole time…” Natalia knew Olivia’s eyes would be so giving away her thoughts right now. She could watch those eyes forever. “I should have figured that out myself.”

 

A small silence stretched as both women thought of the odd road they had traveled to get to this point. Olivia sighed as a nurse poked her head into her room and tapped at her watch.

 

“Listen they’re going to shut down the phones at eleven and they don’t like me using a cell phone in the cardiac wing because it messes with things. I needed to … I don’t know. Just hear your voice I guess…”

 

“I miss you too.” Natalia smiled and hugged her pillow tighter knowing what she really wanted to say, but still a little shy about saying it.  “I love you.”

 

Natalia heard the small gasp and then the smile in the voice when Olivia spoke next.

 

“I love you too.”

 

Natalia let the words wash over her, like another blanket to wrap around her to keep her warm through the long night.

 

“And try not to murder any nurses, okay?”

 

“Sure, ruin all my fun.” Olivia chuckled and then grew quiet again, not wanting to end the call.

 

“I’ll rescue you tomorrow as soon as I can.” Natalia couldn’t wait to see her again actually, now that she could look at her and touch her openly and not worry so much about what she was doing or how Olivia would react. It was all very new and exciting.

 

“Promise?” Olivia cringed at how needy that sounded but she really wanted out of here. She wanted to go home and get her life finally started again.

 

“I promise. I’ve got your back.” Natalia smiled softly, knowing she meant it.

 

“No one’s had my back in a very, very long time.” Olivia realized it was true. She had been so strong and solitary for what seemed like forever. It was nice to know she wasn’t alone anymore.

 

“Well, get used to it Spencer.” Natalia teased but believed it too. Olivia was her family now and she would always be there for her. And Emma and Ava too for that matter.

 

“I should go now. Attila the Hun is giving me the evil eye from the hallway.” Olivia glared at the woman staring back at her through the small glass window in the door.

 

“Ok. Good night Olivia.”

 

“Sweet dreams...” Olivia’s voice had dropped, low and seductive and Natalia forgot how to breathe. Oh, what this woman did to her.

 

Natalia slid her phone shut as the line went dead and put it back onto her nightstand before rolling back to stare at the ceiling with a huge smile on her face. She was wide awake, her brain going a mile a minute, with thoughts of Olivia swirling through her mind. She had no idea how she was going to fall asleep now.

 

Suddenly inspiration struck and Natalia quickly rolled out of bed and padded into the laundry room. She was sure she had seen it behind the hamper earlier, a t-shirt of Olivia’s that had fallen down missed the wash and hadn’t been packed up. Finding it she pulled it to her, inhaling. It smelled like Olivia.

 

Slipping back under her covers, Natalia snuggled up with her pillows, the t-shirt clutched to her chest. Sighing happily, sweet dreams soon followed.


	5. Chapter 5

 

Long fingers dragged slowly across her hip, sliding under the hem of her night shirt and finding twitching abs. A low groan escaped Natalia’s lips as she felt the roaming hands inch slowly across her overheated skin, finding and squeezing her aching breasts.

 

“Natalia…” Olivia’s voice was tickling her ear, low and soft. Natalia’s lower body clenched in response and she arched her back needing more contact, thrilling as Olivia’s strong leg slipped between her thighs and tucked tight against her center. God, it felt so good to be in her arms, to be surrounded by her.

 

“Natalia…” Full lips nuzzled at her neck, behind her ear, finally sucking and nipping at Natalia’s tender earlobe. She couldn’t control her hips as she rolled wantonly against Olivia’s smooth thigh, her stiff nipples twisted and teased by the older woman. It was almost too much all at once and yet she desperately wanted so much more.

 

“NATALIA!”

 

“What!” Natalia sat bolt upright in bed, Emma’s shout cutting through the languid haze of her dream like a knife. Blinking her eyes open Natalia finally focused on the small form standing beside her bed.

 

“I can’t find my hat!” Emma was on the verge of tears, her voice wobbling.

 

Her body still throbbing from her dream, Natalia tried to gather her wits and raging hormones. What was she, sixteen again? Shaking her head she swung her feet out of bed and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. Smiling down at the worried girl, she had more important things to concentrate on right now.

 

“Don’t worry sweetie, I think I saw it last night when we unpacked one of your suitcases.”

 

****

 

Hat and the rest of her costume safely tucked into her backpack, Emma happily sat munching her cereal as Natalia sipped at her coffee. She felt tired, probably from tossing and turning all night. Even the thought of food made her stomach roll as she placed her mug down by the sink. She hoped she wasn’t coming down with something on top of everything else. Natalia’s dream had faded in the morning dash to get Emma ready for school, but the implications had stayed fresh in her mind.

 

Natalia was devout but she was no prude and while not promiscuous she had had a few lovers over the years. In the end though Rafe had always come first, and various selfish or jealous boyfriends had disappeared quickly enough. Guiltily Natalia knew that Nicky had always been the ideal in her mind, and she had subconsciously, and unfairly, measured each new suitor to him.

 

Sighing, Natalia turned her thoughts to the here and now and getting the little bundle of energy in her kitchen off to school. Finally herding the girl into her car, Natalia listened idly as Emma practiced her lines a few more times. The snowplows had been out overnight and the roads were clear. The freak snowstorm had been handled wonderfully and the short drive into town passed uneventfully.

 

Letting her mind wander as she drove, Natalia reasoned that it wasn’t even the first time she had had a dream about Olivia, or for that matter thought about them being together that way. It just seemed so much more real and intense now that she knew her feelings were returned.  

 

Stopping at a red light, Natalia watched a Springfield police cruiser drive past, making her think of Frank. There had been another eye opener if she had really let herself think about it. Although it freaked her out a little at the time, Natalia was honest enough with herself to admit that she had fantasized about a woman’s hands touching her, stroking her, loving her when she had slept with Frank.

 

Pulling into traffic, Natalia rolled her eyes at herself. She wasn’t going to take the easy route out now, censoring her thoughts at this point. She wasn’t that naïve, it had been Olivia she had been thinking of. She had wanted Olivia even then. Frank couldn’t get the job done for her and before she realized it she had started imagining Olivia touching her, making love to her. And boy, that had done the trick.

 

Finally stopping in front of the school, Natalia smiled over at the excited girl. With a quick hug, Emma was out the door and headed inside, fearless and ready for what the day held for her. So like her mother sometimes it warmed Natalia’s heart.

 

Making her way to Cedars Hospital Natalia’s mind slid seductively back to the dream. It had seemed so real. And while the intensity of it should have shocked her, it didn’t. It just seemed right. Natalia shivered at the memory, and smiled as she realized that someday soon it would come true.

 

Before she knew it, Natalia found herself pushing the door to Olivia’s room open with little preamble, to find Dr. Rick already there.

 

“…I’m serious Olivia. You need to take care of the stress in you life. You need more rest and relaxation for the next little while. Take some time off. Go to a spa or something, okay?” Rick was lecturing her, but Olivia only had eyes for Natalia. Rick turned to see what had so captured her attention.

 

Natalia wandered into the room and placed a hand on Olivia’s leg slowly running along the blanket covering it.

 

“Hi,” Natalia grinned at Olivia, dimples at full force. Olivia’s heart did a little flip flop and she couldn’t help the smile that flew to her own lips. Natalia slowly turned and looked up at the doctor. “Can I take her home Rick?”

 

“She’s all yours Natalia.” Rick absently signed the release form and handed it over to Olivia to sign as well.

 

Olivia barely concealed her smirk. Oh Rick, you have no idea…Tearing her eyes away from the captivating brunette, Olivia quickly signed the document and handed it back.

 

“

 

Thanks Dr.

  
Rick, for everything. I’ll try to work on my stress levels, I promise.” Olivia smiled at the handsome doctor as he headed for the door.

 

 

“Don’t forget our follow up appointment Olivia.” Rick paused by the door. “Now get out of here, we need that bed for sick people.” The door quietly closed behind him as the two women simply stared at each other for a moment longer.

 

“So how many bodies do I need to dispose of?” Natalia teased, helping Olivia to her feet as she finally moved to hop out of the hospital bed. Natalia handed her the bag of fresh clothes she’d brought with her.

 

“Thank you.” Olivia murmured, warmed by her thoughtfulness and headed into the bathroom to change. “Ugh, y’know they put all the evil ones on the night shift I swear…”

 

Natalia chuckled and started gathering and folding Olivia’s other clothes out of the small closet.

 

“Although I am tempted to offer Attila the Hun a job at the Beacon. She would scare the bejezus out of some of those lazy banquet servers.” Olivia walked out, looking none the worse for wear for her ordeal. She knew Natalia loved that blouse on her and the dark tailored pants set it off nicely. Olivia could almost feel the younger woman’s eyes raking over her body, checking her out and she liked it.

 

She liked it a lot.

 

Their eyes finally met and Natalia swallowed hard. The desire to touch the exquisite woman standing before her washed over her in a wave. Her eyes dropped to Olivia’s mouth, the full moist lips tempting her. This was going to be hard to contain now that she knew Olivia felt the same way too.

 

“You heard the doctor, I’m all yours.” Olivia husked, as she slid her hand along the inside of Natalia’s arm, finding her hand and holding it, their fingers entwining.

 

“Promises, promises…” Natalia murmured, her dimples deepening with the saucy grin she treated Olivia with. “Come on Trouble, we have a play to catch..."


	6. Chapter 6

 

Frank Cooper pulled his car up to the small farmhouse and turned off the ignition. He really didn’t want to do this but he had no choice. Knocking on the back door he quickly opened it and headed into the kitchen. It was warm and cozy, smelling like cleaning products and coffee. It made him smile to think that soon this would be his home too. A movement caught his eye and then he saw Rafe Rivera walk in from the living room.

 

“Frank! Ma’s not here, she went to go pick up Olivia.” Rafe stretched and yawned, only recently having dragged himself out of bed. Frank looked down his shoes suddenly very interesting. No he did not enjoy what he was about to do.

 

“Rafe, I’m sorry buddy. I’ve got to take you to the half way house. You were released for a special family occasion, and well, that didn’t happen so now they want you to go back.” Frank glanced up at the young man and watched helplessly as Rafe’s smile slowly disappeared and the reality of his life sank in once more.

 

“Right now?” Rafe watched as Frank just nodded and looked away, obviously not happy about this either. There had been so many things Rafe had wanted to do before going back. Spend some more time with his mom, go to Church like a normal person, and maybe see Daisy.

 

Rafe ran a hand through his short hair and felt the cold wall drop down to cover his emotions shoving them deep down inside. It was the same wall that he held in place while in prison shielding himself from everything. He could handle this, he had no choice after all.

 

“Do I at least have time to find Ma and go to Church?” Rafe asked hopefully.

 

Frank looked up surprised. He knew Natalia was devout but didn’t realize how important Rafe’s faith was to him as well. He tucked that information away and smiled at the young man.

 

“Yes, but I have to get you to the half way house by 6 pm at the latest. We should find you’re mom and then head out.”

 

Rafe smiled wistfully and looked around the farmhouse kitchen. It was only a temporary set back. He knew that someday he would be coming back to this little home and it would be for good. It was only a matter of time.

 

“Let me get my gear together and I’ll be right down.”

 

***

 

Miss Calliope Jennings stood by the stage and looked up as the door opened and two more parents came in. Smiling to herself she once more let her mind wander away from her to do list. She simply could not believe that Olivia Spencer and her “good friend” Ms. Rivera were not together. She had met enough of her brother’s friends to see the tell tale signs. Hell a blind man could see the signs. Standing too close, finishing each others sentences, touching each other way more often than normal friends would, as if the staring longingly at each other didn’t give them away. Her gaydar had been pinging on these two even before Emma’s My Two Mommies presentation and she didn’t care what they said. Actions spoke louder than words and these two women were more of a couple than a lot of the married parents she met these days.

 

Callie watched as the two women wandered into the small room with the other parents there for the play and found their seats. With the Mayor’s damned Families First committee breathing down her neck, Callie knew exactly who she needed to speak to for help. After all she was the one suffering here because of Emma’s presentation, the least Ms. Spencer could do was listen.

 

“Natalia, will you stop it. I’m fine.” Olivia grumbled. She had been poked and prodded all night and she’d about had enough of it all. The look on Natalia’s face though quickly made her regret her words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that to be as sharp as it came out. It’s just…”

 

“No, it’s okay. I’ve been hovering over Rafe too. It seems to be what I do to irritate people lately.” Natalia shrugged and looked away. Suddenly she felt long fingers wrap around her own hand and squeeze. Glancing up she met concerned green eyes, the silent communication between them seeming to speak directly to something buried deep inside, easing an ache Natalia wasn’t even aware was there. She almost forgot to breathe for a minute.

 

“No. It just means you care and I’m sorry.” Olivia’s eyes spoke volumes more and Natalia melted just a little bit from what she saw there. A discreet cough came from behind them.

 

“Um, sorry to interrupt but…” Miss Jennings tried really hard not to smirk at the tender scene playing out before her.  Seriously, if they weren’t together she would eat Emma’s hat. “I was wondering if I could speak with you after the play today Ms. Spencer.”

 

“Is there a problem with Emma?” Olivia frowned, concerned.

 

“No, no, nothing like that. I just wanted to talk to you about something I hope you can help me with.”  Callie smiled at the two women before some movement caught her eye, looking up as she saw some students fiddling with something they were not supposed to be near. God, retirement was so far away.

 

“Ok…” Olivia agreed, a little confused but happy to help if she could. It might be good to focus on someone else’s problems for a change.

 

Natalia jumped slightly as her phone rang. Excusing herself she pulled her slim black cell phone from her purse and noted that it her home number before moving away to answer the call.

 

“Natalia, where are you baby?” Frank’s voice came clearly through the line. Natalia rolled her eyes, she wished he wouldn’t call her that. And then her stomach dropped once again with guilt. She needed to end it with him as soon as possible.

 

“I’m at Emma’s play with Olivia. What are you doing at my house?”

 

“Rafe and I are heading into town. I have to take him back to the halfway house…”

 

“Today? But…” Natalia’s eyes locked with Olivia’s, who suddenly stood and made her way through the chairs towards her obviously realizing she was upset by the news. “Frank, we haven’t had a chance to…”

 

“He was released for the wedding Natalia. With no family event they want him back. Now.” Frank quietly let that sink in before he continued. “Rafe wants to go to Church before I take him in. We’ll meet you there. It’s going to be ok sweetie.”

 

The line went dead and Natalia slid her phone into her pocket, tears starting to well. She felt Olivia by her side, her warm hand gently rubbing her lower back, taking comfort in the soothing gesture.

 

“What’s going on?” Olivia murmured, concerned.

 

“Rafe has to go back. Frank is taking him to the halfway house now, but first they are stopping at the Church…”

 

“Go on Natalia. Be with Rafe, I’ll stay here for Emma’s play and explain what’s going on. Then we’ll meet up with you at Company. Ok?” Their eyes locked and Olivia tried to reassure her with a soft smile.

 

Natalia resisted the urge to kiss Olivia, instead pulling her into a much needed hug.

 

“Thank God I have you.” Natalia whispered softly before pulling away, tears shining in her eyes.

 

“I think you’ve got that backwards. Now go and we’ll see you in a little while.” With a final squeeze to her hands, Olivia watched as Natalia turned and dashed out of the room. Sighing she made her way back to her seat.

 

 

***

 

The heavy oak door swung open with the touch of her hand as Natalia stepped into the small church. She often thought that this little Church was missing some of the ornate decoration that she was used to in a Catholic building, but its simplicity was what appealed to her. The place soothed her in her most trying times.

 

Natalia stepped down the aisle, listening to the floor boards creaking under her feet. It suddenly hit her just how close had she come to making one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Sliding into a pew, Natalia ducked her head and made the sign on the cross before starting to pray. But the old familiar prayers did not come to mind. Her mind was blank, clean as a slate, as if waiting for something more to come to her, to rise to the surface and explain it all. She laughed at her own wishful thinking. Nothing is ever that simple.

 

Sitting quietly she noticed the scent of incense and candles burning. Natalia decided she would light a candle for Rafe, her baby who was a man now, struggling in a man’s world. She knew he would have to return to that harsh world, but didn’t think it would be so soon. She had screwed that up for him too.

 

Natalia was hurting so many people, for her own selfish reasons. Frank was a grown man, who would be wounded deeply, but would eventually move on and be fine. Rafe, Emma and eventually Ava were another level of worry for her. Whether they reacted well or not would directly influence both Olivia and her own happiness.

 

Natalia looked up at the plain wooden cross hanging above the altar and prayed for guidance.

 

“Natalia? I thought that was you.” Father Ray smiled down at the troubled looking woman. “Are you okay? I’m sorry about not being available for the wedding yesterday.” He slid down into the pew beside her.

 

“Don’t be Father. I’m so glad now that we didn’t go through with it.” Natalia sighed, the weight of her troubles needing to be shared. She looked over at the priest and wondered just how badly this was going to go.

 

“I don’t love Frank.”

 

Father Ray looked down at his hands resting on the pew in front of them and nodded, unsurprised.

 

“Does Olivia know about your feelings for her?”

 

The burn of shock washed over Natalia followed by the cool calm of relief, of being able to finally talk about her conflicted feelings.

 

“How did…”

 

“It’s a small town.” Father Ray shrugged a shoulder and smiled at the stunned woman. “I hear a lot of stuff. The Two Mommies presentation and the Mayor’s Families First committee was quite a topic of conversation there for a while.”

 

Natalia sighed and looked back up at the wooden cross.

 

“Yes she knows. She loves me too.”

 

Father Ray absorbed that news and stared up at the cross as well.

 

“You know I must follow the dictates of the Church, Natalia. Homosexuality is not condoned, as it runs contrary to the natural law.” Father Ray’s words delivered softly still hit hard. Natalia ducked her head, knowing that it was coming didn’t make it any easier to hear. “In fact most churches are not very supportive of this alternate lifestyle…”

 

“Why to straight people have lives and gay people have lifestyles? Its not like I chose to fall in love with Olivia, it just happened.” Natalia snapped at the man, finally getting angry at how unfair it all was.

 

How could this love be so wrong? God was love wasn’t he? It was the small minds of mankind that were the problem. Natalia ran a hand through her hair and sighed, trying to release her frustration before speaking again.

 

“Father, I’ve tried for so long to ignore it, hoping it would go away, pouring my emotions into Frank, focusing on Rafe and what’s best for all of us. But she just has to smile or look at me and I’m gone again, like my heart has taken flight…”

 

Father Ray looked down at his hands, fighting with his personal feelings and his duty to the Church.

 

“Natalia, while I must uphold the rules of the Church, I care about you and your happiness. I knew there was something not right between you and Frank when we spoke yesterday and was deeply concerned. I have to say a part of me was relieved to hear the wedding had been postponed.” Their eyes locked and Natalia nodded, waiting for him to continue.

 

“And I’ve also seen you with Olivia and her daughter, the family that you have built. She is at heart a good woman who believes in you and loves you. Some people search their entire lives and never find that. I’ll pray that you find the path that is right for you and for the strength to follow it.” The priest put his hand over Natalia’s and squeezed. She swallowed hard and smiled.

 

“Thank you Father.” Natalia whispered, feeling as if a little of the weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She knew his hands were tied and still he had found a way to be there for her. They both looked up as they heard the main church door open and footsteps coming their way.

 

“That’s probably Rafe. He’s returning to prison and wanted to come to church before Frank took him back. I haven’t told him yet about…”

 

“Don’t worry. What you say to me in confidence, stays that way.” Father Ray smiled sadly. This would not be an easy road for the woman to travel, but he would not add to her worries.

 

Natalia nodded and they both stood. It had been a long day and it wasn’t even noon yet. Natalia sighed and moved to go light a candle as Father Ray went to greet her son. They would all need strength to walk this different path. Watching the smoke from the match float up in lazy swirls and the bright flame flare to life on the small candle gave Natalia comfort. Somehow she and Olivia would find their way together. Everything else would work itself out.


	7. Chapter 7

 

“Ms. Spencer.” Miss Calliope Jennings made her way across the crowded classroom towards Emma’s busy mother. She watched as the older woman looked up from her BlackBerry and smiled warmly as she caught sight of her.

 

“That was such a cute show! And it’s Olivia.” Slipping her phone into her pocket, Olivia turned her full attention to her daughter’s teacher and smiled warmly. Anyone Emma adored as much as she did Miss Jennings was okay in her books. The woman smiled and nodded, leaning back against the edge of the table.  


“Please, call me Callie. I’m just glad so many parents could make it out today.” Callie looked around the room at all the families gathered there. She wondered where Ms. Rivera had disappeared to so quickly and hoped Emma wouldn’t be too disappointed. “Before we all disappear for lunch, I just wanted to talk to you about the Family First committee.”

 

Olivia rolled her eyes. Doris Wolfe had a lot to make up for because of that damn press conference. She glanced back over at the worried looking teacher. It would appear that their private lives were not the only thing that had been complicated by the Mayor’s political grandstanding.

 

“You see, the Mayor has finally assembled this watchdog committee now and well, I was wondering if you would consider volunteering to join it too, as one of the parent representatives.” Callie glanced down for a moment, not sure how much a high powered Springfield citizen like Olivia Spencer would really care about her troubles, but figured it was worth at try at least. “I sure could use a friendly face at the table. Or if you have any sway with Doris Wolfe, maybe you could get her to calm it down a little bit.”

 

Olivia reached out and patted the frazzled looking woman on the arm. Her daughter’s good intentions had unwittingly got them both into this mess, it was the least she could do to help the teacher.

 

“Let me think about it a little and I’ll get back to you, okay? In the meantime, I’ll speak with Doris and see what I can do.” Olivia smiled warmly. God, she was getting soft in her old age.

 

“Thank you, any help is greatly appreciated,” Callie grinned, knowing that the intimidating woman would do her best. They both turned as the classroom door burst open and a group of yelling children spilled into the room. “Sorry duty calls.” Callie smiled and dashed off to break up the squabble at the front of the class.

 

“Hey! There’s my girl!” Olivia beamed as her daughter made a bee line into her arms. “You were fantastic baby!”

 

“Thanks Mom!” Emma hugged her mother hard and then stepped back and looked around. “Where’s Natalia?”

 

“She missed your play sweetie. She had to go say goodbye to Rafe.” Olivia sighed at Emma’s disappointed face. “But we’ll get a copy of the video of the play from Miss Jennings and show it to her later, okay?” Her heart nearly broke at her daughter’s disappointed face, but the girl nodded and soon smiled again as an idea took hold.

 

“Can we get Buzz Burgers?”

 

***

 

Natalia stood at the foot of the steps to the small Catholic church, tears streaming down her cheeks as Rafe waved goodbye from the passenger side of Frank’s car. She waved back and followed the vehicle as Frank pulled out and headed down the road, staring after it until it finally turned out of sight.

 

“You okay?”

 

Natalia turned at the sound of the familiar voice, her heart leaping at finding Olivia standing there.

 

“No…”  Natalia’s voice broke, choking back a sob. She lurched forward, falling into waiting arms. Olivia just held her, rocking her gently and stroking a hand through her thick dark hair. Finally getting her emotions back under some sort of control, Natalia shifted and smiled up at Olivia.

 

“Come into the church with me?” Natalia murmured. Olivia nodded and took her hand, before glancing around looking for Emma.

 

“Come on Bean, we’re going inside for a little bit.” Olivia called out, and smiled as they heard a muffled ‘Okay’ just before the girl raced out from behind a shrub and practically tackled them in a hug.

 

“Natalia! “ Emma squeezed her other mommy hard and then grabbed her hand as they started up the stairs towards the front doors of the church.

 

“I’m sorry I missed your play, Emma.” Natalia wiped away a tear with the back of her hand, smiling at Olivia as she opened the heavy oak doors for them.

 

“That’s okay. Mommy told me Rafe had to leave again.” Emma led the way inside, the warm afternoon sun slanting into the sanctuary of the church. “Did you kiss Rafe goodbye for us too?”

 

“Absolutely. He said to tell you to practice up on your Wii. He’s coming back to kick your butt at bowling…” Natalia’s tears started again, and Olivia pulled a tissue from her purse, silently handing it to her.

 

“As if!” Emma scoffed and then looked up as Natalia wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “Don’t worry, Natalia. We’ll keep you company until he comes home again.” That made Natalia laugh and cry even harder, worrying the girl even more.

 

“I know, baby. I’ll be okay, you’re my family now too.” Natalia kissed the top of the girl’s head and pulled her into a hug, Olivia fighting off tears now as well. “Why don’t you go into the youth room and play for a bit. We won’t be too long, I promise.”

 

Emma glanced over at Olivia, who nodded and cocked her head towards the open door down the hall. She wandered towards it and stopped, looking back and smiling as her mommy took Natalia’s hand and led her deeper into the church. She let out a relieved sigh because she knew her mom would take care of everything, and then disappeared into the play room.

 

Natalia sank down onto one of the many pews, sliding over so Olivia could join her. She never released the strong hand gripping her own. It was like a lifeline right now, keeping her grounded as her emotions swirled around. Several minutes passed in silence, as she calmed in the peace of the church. She heard Olivia shift beside her on the pew, silently sharing her strength and love, just being there for her if or when she needed to talk.

 

“I’m going to miss him. I got used to having him around again, even if it was just for a few days.” Tears started to well again. Olivia ran her thumb in slow circles across the back of her hand, the gentle touch reassuring. “I’m glad you’re moving back in again. I don’t think I could take going back there alone…”

 

Suddenly she was gathered up and held close, safe in Olivia’s arms. And while she should be worried about snuggling together in the church, she found she actually didn’t give a damn. Instead all she wanted was to stay there like that forever. Together.

 

“You’ll never be alone again.” Olivia’s hand gently stroked Natalia’s soft cheek, wiping the gathering tears away.

 

“Promise?” Natalia whispered, needing the reassurance.

 

“I promise…” Olivia wanted to kiss her desperately, but instead she just held on a little tighter, bumping their foreheads together affectionately. They sat like that for awhile, just soaking up the simple pleasure of being with the other. Finally Olivia broke the silence.

 

 “And Ruth said, ‘Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee; for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people and thy God my God.’”

 

Natalia grew very still, fighting back more tears. She didn’t think it was possible, but in that moment she fell even more deeply in love with Olivia.

 

“Olivia, that was beautiful.” She finally murmured. “That’s one of my favourite bible passages, from the Book of Ruth.”

 

Pleased, Olivia looked down shyly before meeting dark brown eyes again, a smile quirking at her lips. “Hey, blame my mother. You’d be surprised what bible stuff is rattling around in my brain.”

 

“Can we go home?” Emma called from the back of the small church.

 

“Out of the mouths of babes…” Natalia whispered, her eyes glittering with unshed tears.

 

“Get your coat on Bean. We’re going home.” Olivia’s hand slid down Natalia’s arm, their fingers tangling and entwined, and together they left the church as a family.

 

***

 

Natalia Rivera sat in her chair at the kitchen table in the farmhouse, watching her two girls happily preparing dinner. It took her mind off of Rafe, who had called and was settling into life at the halfway house.

 

“Emma, you hop in the bath and I’ll be up to tuck you in when you’re done. Now scoot.”  Olivia walked slowly back towards the kitchen, pausing in the doorway as she watched Natalia washing the dishes. She snuck up on her, hugging her from behind.

 

“Leave those for later,” Olivia whispered in her ear, enjoying the shiver that ran through the younger woman. “Dance with me?”

 

Natalia nodded, smiling softly. Olivia grinned and pulled the slightly trembling woman into her arms. Her hands fell to Natalia’s hips, thumbs hooking into the waistband of her jeans. They press close to each other, swaying together to the soft music playing from the kitchen radio.

 

Time seemed to stand still, lost in each other’s eyes, only their heartbeats keeping them anchored to the here and now. It wasn’t until they heard little feet come thumping down the stairs that they started to pull apart. Natalia glanced at the kitchen doorway as Olivia reluctantly pulled her hands from the woman’s soft curves.

 

“Hey Bean, are you ready for your story?” Olivia stared hard at Natalia, letting her fingers tangle with the other woman’s before turning her full attention to her daughter who was now standing in the doorway.

 

Natalia smiled, listening to the happy girl laugh and joke with her mother. It was good to have her family together again. 

 

Natalia’s phone vibrated on the counter. Glancing at the caller id, she knew it would be Frank. Sighing, she realized she couldn’t avoid him forever, but she didn’t want to think about it right now. Instead, she turned and followed the sounds of laughter and love heading upstairs, letting the call go to voicemail. 

 

***

 

“Emma’s finally asleep.” Olivia stepped outside into the crisp evening air, two steaming coffee mugs in hand and wandered over to the small bench where Natalia was sitting. She was staring silently into space, her mind a million miles away.

 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Olivia handed over one of the mugs and sank down onto the cold bench.

 

“Just thinking about how life seems to just fall into place sometimes.” Natalia sighed softly. Olivia cocked her head and waited for her to continue.

 

“I mean, everything seems to happen for a reason. Nicky had been everything to me. The one unattainable goal, that I finally was able to make my own. And then before I knew it, he was gone and with him went all my dreams.” Natalia paused, listening to Olivia breathing beside her, calm and sure. Alive and healthy and loving her. “Or so it seemed. But out of that all, you came into my life. My whole world has turned upside down because of this…us.” Natalia gestured between the two of them still not quite able to put a label on what it was.

 

Olivia nodded and waited for Natalia to continue. She knew they both needed to be open and honest about their thoughts and feelings, now more than ever. If they had learned anything from the anguish of the last few months it was no more hiding, at least from each other.

 

“And yet, instead of being a mess, it feels as if everything has shifted and settled into place.” Her eyes locked with Olivia’s, making sure she understood. She glanced down at the older woman’s full lips and stuffed down the urge to touch them with her fingertips. “Everything else around us is spinning and falling, and I’ve always put that before myself, but now…now I want. I want something so badly that I will do just about anything to have it. And that intensity scares me.”

 

“Hey. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere okay?” Olivia swallowed hard and leaned a little closer. She could feel Natalia’s warm breath on her cheek.

 

Standing, Natalia moved away, wandering over to the railing and looked up at the moon and twinkling stars. Olivia followed, placing her mug down on the wide wood railing and glanced up. A shooting star twinkled across the sky, disappearing just as quickly.

 

“Did you just see that?” Natalia gasped, enthralled. Olivia nodded, suddenly close, pressing her back against the wooden porch post. Her eyes traveled possessively along the brunette’s sweet curves, her heart racing, the pulse twitching in her throat.

 

 “Did you make a wish?” Olivia whispered softly, taking in the golden flecks in Natalia’s dark chocolate eyes, soft smooth skin and the scent of her hair. She watched silently as Natalia nodded slightly and moistened her lips with her tongue. The self conscious movement caught her attention, as if daring her to act.

 

“Me too…” Olivia murmured absently. Before she realized what she was doing, she dipped her head, bringing her mouth a hairs breadth away, hesitating. Although she was desperate to taste the full lips before her, she simply waited. Natalia had to take this next step.

 

Natalia swallowed hard, her eyes fluttering shut and quickly closed the distance, her kiss sealing their fates. There would be no going back from this now for either of them. Her moan was soft and needy, vibrating against oh so soft lips, wanting so much more. Her hand snaked into the honey brown hair, grasping at the nape of Olivia’s neck to keep her steady.

 

Soon they were lost in each other, overwhelmed by the moment. Olivia’s hands found their way inside Natalia’s warm black jacket, exploring the twitching muscles of her stomach and sides. Natalia’s fingers continued to thread through the thick hair, soft strands slipping between her fingers.

 

Finally Natalia pulled away, pushing back ever so slightly, her eyes dark with need and desire.

 

“We have to slow down,” Natalia gasped, trying to catch her breath. Olivia’s eyebrows descended, worried, Natalia’s fingers moved to wipe away the furrow between her eyes and then trace along an elegant eyebrow, soothing her fears with the oddly tender motion. “Hey, I said slow down, not stop. Okay?”

 

Olivia nodded, reassured and pulled her close, tucking the dark head under her chin, thrilling at the cold nose that burrowed along the collar of her shirt, breathing her in. It felt like she was going to explode with happiness.

 

“I want to be yours, Olivia, I do. But first I need to break off completely with Frank. I want to be free to love you. I respect you too much for you to be the ‘other woman’. I want to be yours and yours alone and if we keep going, well, I’m not going to be able to stop with just kissing you.” Natalia looked up shyly, to see how Olivia took her words.

 

Olivia exhaled slowly and smiled down at her, touched by the words, her green eyes watering with happy tears. Glad to know that she wasn’t the only one struggling with her libido.

 

“I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. I will wait for as long as it takes.”  Olivia murmured, snuggling even closer, thrilled with the simple joy of having Natalia in her arms.

 

“I love you too.” Natalia sighed, finally feeling like the world was making some sort of sense.

 

They stood outside a while longer, watching the moon rise slowly higher, getting lost in each other. Their life together was finally beginning, and for tonight, that was more than enough.

 

 

  



	8. Chapter 8

 

Antonelli’s was the latest in a long line of restaurants that had opened on Main Street in downtown Springfield. The newest addition was an intimate Italian place, with romantic candlelight and quiet music accompanying fine food and good wine. It was a perfect destination for date night, if the current clientele were any indication.

Natalia sighed sadly the minute she stepped into the place the next day after work. She really should have thought to check it out before agreeing to come here with Frank when he called bright and early to suggest meeting up for dinner. So that they could talk about their future, he had said. Her stomach had dropped but she had agreed. Now though she was wondering if maybe she should have chosen the restaurant.

The place was filled with couples staring longingly into each other’s eyes, except for a lonely looking Billy Lewis who was sitting by himself near the door, finishing up a piece of pie. She smiled and waved back at the friendly man, before glancing around for Frank.

The restaurant host appeared at the small podium by the door and after confirming the name of the reservation, he quickly ushered her deeper into the dimly lit room. She followed the young man as he wound his way to a secluded back corner where Frank was already seated. He stood and smiled at her in that puppy dog way of his. Natalia’s stomach churned, and she wasn’t sure if it was nerves or that look that was doing it to her.

“Natalia,” Frank came around the table, dipping his head to kiss her, a little surprised at finding a smooth cheek and not her lips as she turned her head at the last second. Quickly sliding into her seat, Natalia smiled up at their server as he appeared at her elbow with a menu.

“Oh, no need for that,” Frank smiled up at the young man, handing him the menu he already had been perusing for the last few minutes. “We’ll have the prime rib special.”

“Frank,” Natalia frowned and took the offered menu from the waiter. “I’d like to decide for myself, thank you very much.” The waiter nodded wisely and quickly escaped before the argument he instinctively knew was sure to follow started.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Sweetie,” Frank said, realizing he had presumed too much. “I just thought it would save time. This place is super busy tonight,” he said good-naturedly, hoping that he had averted angering her any further.

Natalia sighed and put down her menu. There was no need to prolong this and having a romantic dinner with Frank wasn’t going to make it any easier.

“We need to talk,” she started, not exactly sure how the best way to put this would be. She closed her eyes and envisioned Olivia, standing in her office, sending her off not fifteen minutes ago, wishing her luck. All she had wanted to do was run into her arms and stay there.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, realizing that the only way to get to point B was to get this over and done with. Her stomach churned slightly and the thought of food was a little revolting.

“Are you okay?” Frank asked, concerned with her strange behavour.

“I’m fine. Or at least I will be,” she reached out for her glass of ice water on the table and took a quick sip, shivering as it hit her stomach. Her cell phone chimed and she tilted it, quickly scrolling to the message. It was from Olivia.

OSpencer 6:35 pm  
_I can’t stop thinking of you.  
Call if you need help getting rid of the body, I know all the best hiding spots.  
 _ :)  
_Love you - O_

Natalia snorted as her eyes started to tear. Her eyelids fluttered shut and she let the warm heartfelt emotions flow over her. She wondered if she would ever get used to Olivia telling her she loved her.

She prayed she never did.

“Problem?” Frank asked, not realizing what was going on right under his nose. And that was the crux of is all, wasn’t it? For all the time they spent together, he didn’t see her or know what she was feeling. Not the way a lover should anyway. He was a perfect gentleman and completely oblivious to her wants and needs.

Their eyes met and Natalia leaned forward ever so slightly and sighed sadly. She needed to take care of this now. She did not want there to be any more misunderstandings, it was time to pull the Band-Aid off, swift and sure.

“Frank,” Natalia said quietly, reaching into her purse to take out the box with the engagement ring in it. “I can’t marry you. I’m sorry.” She slid the black velvet covered box across the crisp white tablecloth and left it in front of him.

Frank meanwhile sat with a stunned disbelieving look about him, his mouth open slightly and then closing with a sharp snap. Surely he had heard her wrong.

“What? I know we couldn’t get all our ducks in a row, but sweetie—“ Frank began, his eyes growing wide and wild. He didn’t want to hear this but Natalia just looked back at him with large sad eyes. His heart was breaking in his chest and all she could do was shake her head? He started to breathe a little harder, the anger starting to rise in his chest.

“Frank, I don’t want to get your hopes up and I want to be very clear. I can’t marry you, and I want you to have your ring back. You should give it to someone who will love you with all her heart and soul,” Natalia tilted her head a little to one side and sighed, watching as Frank turned very pale and then flushed bright red. “And that’s not me, Frank. I’m so sorry.”

Frank sat there a moment longer, trying to get his breathing back under control as Natalia’s words started to sink in. At least she hadn’t left him standing at the altar or something pathetic like that. He closed his eyes and pinched at the bridge of his nose, subtly wiping at the tears gathering there.

“I rushed you, right?” Frank leaned forward, grasping at straws and ignoring the box on the table and reaching instead for Natalia’s hand. She pulled away and shifted back in her chair. “I know you’re still grieving Gus, I get that, and I can wait…”

Natalia sighed and shook her head.

“It’s not that. It’s not Gus, or you, Frank. You’ve been a good friend to me and Rafe and the Coopers have been lovely to me and my family. No, it’s not you at all, it’s me, Frank. It’s us, together. It’s just not working,” Natalia glanced away her gaze hitting on the couples around them, so much in love, laughing and teasing, eating off of each other’s plates.

She couldn’t see herself doing any of that with Frank. Natalia smiled softly as she thought about sharing food with Olivia, the way her mouth would wrap around a fork, how her eyes would light up as the various flavours hit her tongue, the way she’d moan quietly almost sinfully…

“Natalia, we just need more time, that’s all,” Frank droned on, interrupting her pleasant musings.

Natalia looked away from the lovers around her and mentally forced herself to shift from her own wayward thoughts. Her eyes locked with Frank’s and she knew she was doing the right thing, even if it was hard for him to understand now.

“Frank, you’re a decent person and I don’t want either of us ending up hurt down the road. Marriage is hard enough without such low expectations. You deserve someone who can’t wait to become Mrs. Frank Cooper,” Natalia smiled sadly hoping he’d just accept defeat. Olivia or him, it was no contest.

Frank stared at her a moment longer, his hand falling onto the velvet box as her words washed over him. Somehow he had failed, he didn’t know what he had done, but surely there was a way to win her back. She couldn’t just turn it off and on, could she? Was there someone else who had been sniffing around her, trying to steal her affections from him? Some bozo from her workplace making a move on her that he didn’t know about? No, Olivia would have said something to him.

“Pop tried to tell me you were unsure,” Frank scooped up the small ring box from the table, slipping it into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. Natalia’s cell phone buzzed again, Olivia’s name coming up on the call display.

“You should probably get that, she needs y—“Frank paused as everything suddenly shifted into place and focused. Their eyes locked, and he knew. It all suddenly came together and made perfect sense in a sad, twisted way. “Oh, my God. Those rumours back in February, they…they were _true_. You and Olivia…”

Natalia’s eyes widened in shock, as Frank’s face turned a deep red and his fist came down hard on the table top, cutlery and plates rattling. Several patrons turned their way and stared at them as Frank half stood, pushing his chair back in anger.

“What has she got on you? Is she forcing you somehow? That lifestyle goes against everything you believe in. Is that why she’s been trying so hard to get Rafe a hearing? Is she using that to make you --” Frank growled, suddenly on a righteous roll. First Olivia had betrayed him with his own father and now she was stealing his fiancé. No, it couldn’t be happening to him again.

“What? No!” Natalia interrupted his tirade. “Olivia would never force herself on me,” Natalia sat a little straighter as she realized what he had just said. “Wait a minute, what hearing for Rafe?”

“Maybe you should ask Olivia, she’s such a close, dear friend. Why on Earth would she hide something like that from you?” Frank sank back down into his seat and picked up his glass of beer, taking a much needed long swallow.

Natalia bowed her head and swallowed her retort. Now was not the time to argue with the man. She needed to get out of here, let him lick his wounds. She could ask Olivia herself about a potential hearing for Rafe.

“I’m sorry, Frank. You’re right, I’m getting off topic.” Natalia stood and stared down at the man fuming away across from her. “I’m not in love with you and that’s why I can’t go through with this charade anymore. We both deserve more. I’m going to leave before one of us says something we’ll both regret.” Natalia adjusted her shoulder bag and turned to go.

“Fine, go to her. Run away, Natalia, you’re good at that.” Frank took another gulp of his drink watching as Natalia squared her shoulders at his parting remark before calmly leaving the restaurant.

Pulling the velvet box out of his pocket, Frank popped it open and looked at the diamond glittering there, promising a future he so desperately wanted. He snapped the box shut and stuffed it back into his inner pocket again.

“This is all Olivia’s fault. I trusted her and she screwed me over. Again.” Frank grumbled under his breath. Catching the waiter’s eye he waved for a refill on his drink. “You may have won the battle, Olivia, but this means war. And this time, I’m not taking this betrayal lying down…” 


	9. Chapter 9

 

The lights in the living room were still on when Natalia finally turned into the long driveway and parked in her usual spot beside Olivia’s white Nissan. She had driven around for a while, needing some time alone to try to calm down and process everything. She had considered stopping into the church, but instead her car had found its way towards the old lighthouse. The crashing waves and steady beacon calmly flashing into the night had done more to settle her than sitting in a pew had in the last few weeks.

 

Switching off the car engine with a flick of her wrist, she looked over at her cozy little farmhouse. She was home, with all its familiar scents and sounds of her small family playing and living inside. At the end of the day this refuge they had built was what would heal her, save her, bring her closer to the life God wanted for her.

 

The warm and welcoming normalcy of it all made her smile, allowing her to forget, just for a moment, that she’d just hurt someone very badly. And then, just as quickly, another wave of tears threatened to overwhelm her again.

 

Wiping them away with the heel of her palm, Natalia took a deep breath and got herself under control. Breaking up with Frank had been the right thing to do, of that she was sure, and she should never have let it go so far. She was honest enough with herself now to admit she had used Frank to run away from her feelings for Olivia and she still felt horribly bad about it all. Sleeping with him had been such a huge mistake.

 

Natalia pinched the bridge of her nose, the shame of it still burning deep inside and the ache that she had betrayed Olivia was something that she would never forgive herself for. And undoubtedly there was going to be fallout from her giving the ring back. She was sure Frank and the Coopers would not be very friendly to her, and by extension her little family, for quite some time.

 

God, it was all such a mess.

 

Blowing out a long breath, Natalia gathered her stuff and stepped out of her car, slowly making her way along the pathway to the backdoor. Glancing up, she noticed that the porch light had thoughtfully been switched on for her return. She smiled at the small consideration and realized that it was little caring things like that, which made all the difference. She quietly opened the screen door and entered the familiar surroundings of her kitchen.

 

Natalia sighed happily. Home at last and there was nothing on this Earth like it. Dropping her keys and purse onto the counter, she slipped off her shoes and padded towards the living room in her sock feet. Natalia paused in the doorway between the two rooms, and smiled softly, taking in the sight before her.

 

Olivia was stretched out on the couch, sound asleep. Her hair was askew and her head tilted back at an awkward angle, causing her to wheeze and snore ever so slightly. Dark rimmed reading glasses were clutched in one hand and lay haphazardly in her lap. Scattered around her was several papers and contracts, while her work laptop sat humming away in sleep mode on the coffee table. Beside the computer sat an unopened bottle of red wine and two glasses, clearly waiting for her to return.

 

Natalia’s heart thudded and clenched deep in her chest and she silently thanked God for all of the blessings in her life.

 

A creaking sound on the staircase caught her attention, and Natalia looked up in time to see little pink sock-covered feet scurry back upstairs. Shaking her head, she picked up Olivia’s eyeglasses and put them safely on the coffee table, before she pulled a blanket from the arm of the couch and spread it out careful not to wake her. With one last glance she turned and made her way upstairs to Emma’s room.

 

“Hey there, Jellybean, you’re up late. It’s almost 10:30,” Natalia said quietly, as she opened the bedroom door to find Emma snuggling down under her covers, looking innocent. If she hadn’t seen the pink socks herself, Natalia would have thought the girl had been lying there peacefully the whole time. The girl’s curiosity was apparently limitless and she idly wondered if they should start looking at picking up some Nancy Drew books from the library, a little afraid of what that might inspire the girl to do. “Did you finish your math homework?”

 

The mattress sank with a slight squeak as Natalia sat down on Emma’s bed, her hand stretching out to stroke strands of hair from the girl’s forehead. Emma nodded and yawned, the gentle movements of her hand soothing her closer towards sleep.

 

“Mom helped me. Don’t tell her, but she’s not as good at fractions as you are. She said you were out having dinner with Uncle Frank,” Emma glanced down and fiddled with the edge of her blanket before reaching out to take Natalia’s left hand. “You’re not wearing your ring.”

 

“Nope. I gave it back to Uncle Frank.” Natalia shook her head and waited for the inevitable questions to start.

 

“Does that mean you’re not going to marry him?” Emma asked, her voice sounding small and confused, even a little hopeful.

 

“No, baby,” Natalia just shook her head again and wiped away a falling tear. “I don’t love him; at least, not the way a wife should love her husband so they can be a family together.” She watched as Emma digested that.

 

“So that means we can stay here with you?” Emma’s eyes shone in the lamplight. “We won’t have to leave home if you and Uncle Frank don’t get married, right?”

 

Natalia inhaled sharply, finally understanding that Emma was afraid she would have to leave again. Tears welled but she smiled and cupped the girl’s flushed cheek.

 

“That’s right, sweetie. I get to keep you and your mom now instead.” Natalia couldn’t have been happier about that and apparently neither could Emma, if the huge grin that broke out on her face was any indication.

 

“Uncle Frank is nice but it’s not the same way we love you and the way you love Mommy and me. We’re your family.” Emma said, clearly trying to make her feel better and doing a pretty good job of it. Better than she realized as Natalia’s thoughts automatically turned to Olivia, safe and sound downstairs, fast asleep and waiting for her to come home, loving and trusting her to do the right thing, even when it hurt like hell to do it.

 

“That’s right, Bean,” Natalia wiped away a final tear and smiled down at the sleepy girl. “I love you and your Mommy and our family way more.”

 

“Way, way more?” Emma said, giggling as Natalia grinned back.

 

“Way, way, way more!” Emma giggled louder as Natalia suddenly leaned down and scooped her up into a bear hug. “Now you need to get some sleep, little Miss.” Natalia pulled up the blanket under Emma’s chin and dropped a soft kiss to her forehead.

 

“Night Natalia,” Emma yawned her eyes blinking as Natalia stood and turned off the side lamp. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too, baby. Sweet dreams, I’ll see you in the morning.” Natalia stepped out of the room and pulled the door almost shut, watching as Emma clutched her teddy bear and close before falling asleep. Shutting the door with a quiet click, Natalia felt strong arms envelope her and hold her tight.

 

“I love you way, way, way more too.” Olivia murmured against soft waves of dark hair, breathing her in. Natalia slumped against her, soaking up the warmth and love surrounding her. She had hurt so many people by being so afraid of this, of her feelings. She had hurt this wonderful woman holding her close most of all.

 

“Oh, Olivia,” Natalia leaned against the door, and started weeping quietly. “I’m so sorry. I’ve hurt you and that sweet little girl inside because I was so afraid for so long. And now Frank figured out what was going on. God, he was so upset and angry, the look in his eyes...”

 

The tears came harder, but they didn’t wash away her sins. Olivia nuzzled against her neck, softly murmuring words of comfort and held her, letting her cry herself out, until finally her breathing evened out. Calmer, Natalia turned and wrapped her arms around Olivia’s neck, pulling her impossibly closer.

 

“Stay with me tonight?” Natalia whispered almost desperately into Olivia’s ear. “Please? I – I mean, I just…” Natalia pulled back slightly to look into Olivia’s eyes, and started to stammer as she realized that she might be overstepping tentative boundaries. Still, it was high time she stopped being afraid of saying what she wanted and opened up about what she felt and needed. And there was no time like the present to start. Natalia took a deep breath to try again, staring deeply into suddenly smoldering green eyes. “I don’t want to be alone, Olivia. I want your arms around me and I know I said we should go slowly and I’d understand if you said you didn’t…”  
  
“Of course,” Olivia said, cutting off her rambling and moving her thumb to wipe away the tears gathered in Natalia’s eyes. “Anything you want.”  
  
Relieved, and a little embarrassed at how needy she was being, Natalia smiled up at the woman she loved. This was who she was meant to be with, who she had chosen to build and live a lifetime together with. It was why she had done what was necessary in order to be free to love Olivia, to forge a future together and to build a family with Emma, Rafe and Ava.  
  
“First though, there is a glass of merlot with your name on it downstairs,” Olivia’s eyes twinkled with mischief as she brought a finger up to playfully tap Natalia on the tip of her nose. “And I need to gather my papers up.”  
  
Natalia gave her a lopsided grin and followed Olivia’s tempting curves back downstairs. Olivia grabbed several documents off of the couch and stuffed them into her briefcase and generally tidied up her work as Natalia went over the details of what had happened with Frank earlier in the restaurant. Finally she sank down on the couch next to Natalia and poured out two glasses of wine, handing one over to her.  
  
“Thank you,” Natalia sighed softly, taking a much needed sip of the wine.  
  
“Have you eaten at all?” Olivia’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.  
  
“No, after my blow up with Frank, I wasn’t very hungry…”Natalia grimaced, shaking her head. The thought of food actually made her nauseous, most likely from all the crying she had been doing.  
  
“Alright then, I’ll nuke you a plate of leftover lasagna, and no arguments, okay?” Olivia bent over and pushed dark strands out of Natalia’s face before dropping a soft kiss to her sweet lips. It was gentle and tender, a promise of love and comfort and a hint that more would come. It was over far too soon but it warmed Natalia down to her toes.  
  
“Ok.” Natalia sighed as Olivia made her way to the kitchen, knowing she’d agree to just about anything when the woman kissed her like that. She didn’t think she would ever get used to Olivia’s kisses.  
  
Natalia stared at the doorway to the kitchen, listening to the happy sounds of Olivia getting something for her. It was the little things like this that meant so much. The glass of wine waiting for her, making sure she ate something, a much needed hug; it all added up to feeling cherished. Everything she had experienced since coming home was already more of a relationship than she had ever had with Frank Cooper.  
  
Way, way, more.  
  
Natalia grinned to herself and started to feel a little better. Taking another sip of her wine, she listened to Olivia puttering away in the kitchen and glanced at the television as the evening news silently played. A familiar face suddenly flashed up onto the screen behind the announcer and she scrambled for the remote.  
  
“Olivia I think you might want to see this…” Natalia called out as a she hit the volume.  
  
“…and CEO of Galaxy Hotels was arrested today on charges of embezzlement and fraud. Lawyers for the Xiao family of Hong Kong, owners of the world wide hotel chain, stated that Lawrence Decker had made several questionable decisions lately, which had spawned their investigations into his practices. Mr. Decker and his lawyers had no comment when we contacted him.” The news announcer smiled and turned to look into a new camera before continuing. “And now here’s your weather update. Any more freak snowstorms headed our way, Chuck…”  
  
“Wow,” Natalia murmured, hitting the power button and shutting the television off for the night. “It looks like you got out of there just in time.” Olivia handed Natalia’s warm plate over to her and sat down on the couch beside her.  
  
“I wonder if the Barbie doll he hired after I left was involved somehow,” Olivia swirled her wine in her glass, deep in thought. Who knew what trouble Decker would have gotten her involved in. She sighed and took a deep drink of her merlot. “I feel bad for the Xiao’s though. They were a nice couple.” She smiled softly as Natalia dug into the reheated meal with gusto.  
  
“You should contact them,” Natalia said as she finished up the last bite of the lasagna and put her plate down on the coffee table. “You were talking about a second Beacon location. Maybe there could be some franchise opportunities for you out of all this.”  
  
“For us, you mean,” Olivia said slowly, glancing over at Natalia, who was happily patting her full belly and sipping on her wine. Natalia’s brow furrowed as she looked back and waited for her to continue. “I’d like to have you involved in every part of my life, including the business.”  
  
“Olivia, I can’t,” Natalia said softly, incredibly touched. “The Beacon is your baby.”  
  
“You can,” Olivia smiled and shook her head, taking Natalia’s warm hand in her own. “I’ve thought about this, on those nights when I’d lay in my room and actually let myself hope and dream for a future with you.” Olivia leaned back, her thumb making circles on the back of her hand as she looked for the right words. “I love you, and I meant what I said in the cemetery. I want to make you happy and give you the life you deserve. I want you to be my partner in every sense of the word, at home and at work. And if anything ever happens to me…” Olivia glanced away and shrugged. “I’d like to know that you and our family would be okay.”  
  
Natalia swallowed hard, not wanting to think about what could very easily happen in the next ten or twenty years. The pacemaker scare had been a reality check in a way. They had both been through a lot of stress lately and Rick’s advice about getting away for a while was a good idea.  
  
“Hey, we can talk about that later, okay?” Natalia caught Olivia’s eyes, staring intently at each other, neither of them wanting to discuss how much time they did, or did not, have with each other. Olivia’s cell phone buzzed on the coffee table breaking the moment and interrupting anything they might have said. Leaning forward, Olivia recognized the name on the call display.  
  
“It’s Ava,” Olivia picked up the phone and glanced worriedly at Natalia. “Hi honey, I didn’t expect a call from you until Sunday. Is everything okay?” Olivia nodded absently and then smiled at Natalia. “Oh, that’s great. When are you moving?”  
  
Natalia stood, relieved that there was nothing dire going on and took her plate into the kitchen, to give Olivia a chance to talk with her daughter. Giving the plate and cutlery a quick wash, she placed it on the dish rack to dry. Wiping down the counter, locking the door and switching off the lights she made her way back into the living room, just as Olivia was ending her conversation. The laptop was on and Olivia was checking something online.  
  
“Ok, I’ve booked a flight first thing. Don’t worry, we’ll get you packed up and moved before you know it.” Olivia looked up at Natalia. “Okay, see you tomorrow. Bye.” Olivia hit the end button and put her phone down on the table top.  
  
“You’re going to San Francisco?” Natalia already knew the answer as their eyes met. Olivia dragged a hand through her honey blonde hair and nodded, letting out a long breath as she tried to think of everything that needed to be taken care of before she flew out.   
  
“What time?” Natalia asked, slipping into her familiar role of assistant as she grabbed her Blackberry from the charger on the mantel. Scrolling through their work schedule, she started checking what appointments needed to be changed, any meetings that would need to be shifted.  
  
Natalia glanced up to find Olivia just staring at her, smirking. Natalia smiled back. It was good to be back to their normal everyday lives, trying to juggle work and their family life, simply taking care of each other.  
  
The way it should be.  
  
Before long, Olivia’s schedule had been rearranged for the rest of the week and into the next and they had printed off her ticket confirmation and boarding pass for the first flight in the morning. Natalia knew about potential problems that could pop up and Olivia knew that she was more than capable of putting out any fires until she came home and if worse came to worse, she was only a phone call away.  
  
Doors were locked and lights turned off and before she realized it Natalia stood in her jammies carefully setting her alarm clock. She put the clock down onto the nightstand and looked up as she heard a floorboard creak behind her.  
  
Olivia stood in the doorway to the bedroom, in her favourite pair of jammies, fluffy pillows under one arm and an alarm clock in the other. Natalia’s heart flip-flopped as their eyes met, and she smiled at how like Emma Olivia looked at the moment.  
  
Making her way into the room, Natalia watched as Olivia silently moved to the right side of the bed and put her pillows down and plugged in her clock, resetting the time and cranking up the radio alarm. The woman was hard to get up at the best of times, let alone with only a few hours sleep.  
  
Then again, Natalia had a few tactics that she hadn’t been able to try…yet.  
  
Natalia smirked at her wayward thoughts and slipped into bed first, before looking up at Olivia. She flipped the cover and waited for the tall woman to slide in beside her. She felt the bed dip and then sighed at the comfort of having Olivia’s warmth next to her.  
  
“Hello,” Olivia said softly, shifting to wrap her arms around Natalia as she snuggled closer and they slowly got used to this new facet of their relationship. “Fancy meeting you here…”  
  
“My thoughts exactly,” Natalia murmured, nuzzling along the soft hair at Olivia’s temple. The stress of the day was catching up to her though, and her eyes started to droop. They snuggled together for a time, softly touching and holding each other. Each drawing comfort from the other.  
  
“Go to sleep,” Olivia whispered finally, overjoyed at just having Natalia safe and sound in her arms, loving and being loved. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”  
  
“Promise?” Natalia felt herself drifting off as Olivia’s long fingers stroked slowly through her hair, soothing her closer to sleep. She barely heard Olivia’s answer as she fell asleep.  
  
“Always.”

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

The sun was just starting to peek through the bedroom window when Natalia’s eyes slowly fluttered open and she shifted and stretched, unconsciously snuggling closer to the warm body next to her.

“Hey there, sleepyhead.” A very familiar voice whispered into her hair, clearly amused. A little confused, Natalia nuzzled along tender skin, not wanting to wake up. She froze as she realized just who she was all but mauling in her sleep.

“You’re awake?” Natalia mumbled, her words soft and slow as her mind started to shake off its slumber. She cracked an eyelid open and stared at the smiling woman next to her. “Am I still dreaming?”

“That’s what I thought at first too,” Olivia murmured, her voice low and sleepy as she reached out to gently tuck a dark strand of hair behind Natalia’s ear.

Natalia smiled and decided she liked her like this. Relaxed, hair sleep tousled and with no makeup. Natural and affectionate, the way Olivia always was with her. Just herself.

“What time is it?” Natalia went to roll over and check the time only to discover that she was trapped under Olivia’s sweet curves. A long leg lay tangled with her own and a strong arm held tight around her waist. They were so comfortable together, cuddling like long time lovers in the early morning light and Natalia sent up a silent prayer of thanks as her heart filled with joy.

“We’ve got about ten minutes before that alarm clock will go off,” Olivia snuffled along Natalia’s hairline, breathing her in as dropped butterfly kisses there. “What ever should we do until then?”

“I’m open to suggestions.” Natalia sighed, her eyes drooping shut as she relaxed into Olivia’s embrace. She was definitely enjoying this new morning ritual, so much more fun than her usual run.

“I’ll need coffee if I’m going to have to think too hard.” Olivia smirked against her temple, her one hand sliding down her spine, holding her closer.

“Can’t have that, now can we?” Natalia teased, as she tipped her head back to capture soft lips. She heard Olivia’s sharp inhalation of pleasant surprise before swiping her tongue along her bottom lip, wanting to explore and play. Their kiss deepened, moving quickly from a sensual and tentative ‘good morning’ to a full blown ‘Hello, I’m awake now’.

Olivia shifted and rolled to her back, taking Natalia with her, more than enjoying the feel of the brunette on top of her. Natalia settled naturally between Olivia’s legs, both women moaning softly at this new intimacy. Olivia’s hands ran down sweet curves, coming to rest on the soft boy shorts covering Natalia’s toned ass. She squeezed as Natalia arched against her, clearly wanting more.

The beep-beep-beep of Natalia’s alarm clock was followed moments later by Olivia’s clock radio blaring out the latest hit song. Reluctantly they pulled apart, groaning as they rolled away from temptation to stop the racket. Both heads hit their respective pillows with a frustrated sigh.

“When will you be home?” Natalia asked, catching her breath, trying to get herself under control.

“Not soon enough,” Olivia grinned up to the ceiling before turning to see Natalia smirk at the answer. They both started giggling then, relieving some of the tension between them. “Our timing continues to suck,” Olivia murmured as she rolled to her side, still thrilled at being able to simply look at Natalia this way.

“Definitely,” Natalia smiled at the understatement, and then got lost in Olivia’s intense stare once more. If they didn’t get up soon though, Olivia would miss her flight. She couldn’t help the small yawn that came over her and Olivia’s eyes softened.

“Why don’t you stay home and get some sleep. I’ll pop in to see Bean before I go and then head out to the airport.”

“I could take you and still get Emma to school a little later…” Natalia said, not really wanting to let Olivia out of her sight just yet. Olivia just smiled and shook her head.

“I know sweetheart, but I’ll never want to get on that plane with you two standing there, waving me off.” Olivia leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on those tantalizing lips. “As it is, I don’t want to leave this bed…”

Natalia giggled and then growing serious again, ran her hand into honey blonde hair, tugging Olivia down for another searing kiss. Long moments passed, as tongues danced and played and then slowly parted again.

“Just a little reminder of what will be waiting for you when you get home.” Natalia panted into the crook of Olivia’s neck, memorizing the scent of her skin in the morning. “Now get going, before I change my mind and drag you back here with me.”

Olivia grinned and dropped another quick kiss to Natalia’s full lips before reluctantly sliding out of bed and heading for the shower.

It was going to be a very long trip to San Francisco.

***

The morning crowd at Company was just starting to trickle in, with Blake at the counter pouring coffee and Buzz yelling in the kitchen. Olivia wandered in, smiling at a few familiar faces and placed her order for a muffin and coffee to go. She glanced at her watch, and wondered if Natalia had been able to get back to sleep. A soft smile crossed her lips as she remembered leaving Natalia sleepy and tangled in their bed sheets, wanting her.

So wrapped up in her thoughts, she just caught a glimpse of Frank as he seemed to approach her from out of nowhere.

“Frank, I – “ Olivia didn’t see the slap coming as her head snapped to the right, the sting of the man’s hand burning on her left cheek.

“Save it, you conniving bitch.” Frank spat, furious.

Olivia worked her jaw and brought a hand up to rub at her face, staring with disbelief at him as she tried to focus.

“If you were a man I’d have punched you.” Frank hissed, his eyes glittering with anger and betrayal.

“If _you_ were a man,” Olivia growled, her eyes narrowing dangerously. “I’d have knocked you on your sorry ass!”

“Why you little…” Frank took a step forward, trying to intimidate her with his sheer bulk. It wasn’t working. Olivia stretched to her full height, assisted by her heels and glared him down.

“Frank!” Buzz yelled from the counter, shocked by his son’s actions.

Seeing Frank momentarily distracted as he glanced irritated with Buzz, Olivia swung, connecting with his cheek with a satisfying smack and watched as his head turned from the force of her own slap back.

“Don’t you fucking _ever_ hit me again, Frank Cooper.” Olivia snarled, her intense green eyes never leaving his as she took a step closer to the seething man, her voice low and serious. “I know how to take care of myself and those I love. Don’t cross that line with me, or my family, because you _will_ lose.” Their eyes locked, each knowing she meant every word.

“Hey, okay you two. Break it up,” Buzz suddenly appeared beside them, pulling at Olivia’s shoulder and shoving his son away from the livid woman.

“This isn’t done,” Frank stared a moment longer at Olivia before looking at Buzz, blinking slowly as if coming out of a daze and registering where he was.

“Yes, it is,” Olivia took a step back, crossed her arms and smiled. “Natalia chose me, Frank. Get over yourself.”

Buzz’s head snapped up and he stared hard at Olivia with that statement. He had suspected as much the day of the wedding, but to hear it actually confirmed was still a shock. He turned to look at his son, Frank standing there bewildered and furious, his eyes wild. No wonder he was so upset.

“I’ve been there and done you as well, remember?” Frank’s words hitting hard as he raked down her curves and back up again, his lip curled in disgust. “It didn’t take long for you to show your true spots then either. You can’t help yourself, can you? You’re like some bitch in heat. Or is it all just a big mind game to you? Want, take, have, that’s your motto in life isn’t it? Well, Natalia’s not stupid, she’ll figure out what kind of woman you are and she’ll leave you too. Everyone leaves you, once they see past the façade and see who you really are inside.” Frank took a step backwards. He shook his head, needing something stronger than coffee to drink and to get away from Olivia, to lick his wounds in peace.

“And when Natalia does come to her senses,” Frank paused and sighed quietly. “Because, she will, I’ll be right there waiting.” With a last sad shake of his head, he turned and stalked out of the restaurant.

Buzz glanced back to Olivia and let his hand drop from her shoulder, very aware of the last time Olivia had ripped Frank’s heart out and his own participation in hurting his son.

“Olivia, I think it would be best if you go, too.” Buzz said quietly. He needed time to process this all and how to help his son through this yet again. It was the least he could do after the last time.

“Buzz …“Olivia started, not wanting to lose another friend.

“Just go,” Buzz ran a hand through his short hair. What a mess this all was. “I need some time and to be there for my son right now.

Olivia stared at him a moment longer and then glanced down, nodding. It was a lot to take in all at once, she should know.

Olivia glanced at her watch, knowing she had a flight to catch and the sooner she was out of Springfield the happier she would be. She grabbed her take-out order and cup of coffee sitting on the counter and left without another word.  


 


	11. Chapter 11

It didn’t take Olivia long to make her way out of security and into the waiting area of the airport, her eyes widening with pleasure as she saw her daughter’s willowy form standing in the line of people waiting to pick up loved ones.  
  
“Mom!” Ava smiled and waved as she drew nearer. Olivia nodded and smiled as the girl following her along the barrier until finally she was out in the general public. Long arms wrapped around her neck and Olivia finally felt like she could relax.  
  
“Hi sweetheart,” Olivia held on to Ava a little longer, a little concerned at how thin she was. “God, I’m so glad I’m finally here.”  
  
“Me too!” Ava pulled away and smiled as she snagged Olivia’s carry on handle from her mother’s hands and started pulling it along behind them as they headed out. “Any other luggage?”  
  
“Nope, that’s it.” Olivia laughed at Ava’s raised eyebrow of disbelief and shook her head. Natalia had helped to pack everything she’d need into the one bag almost effortlessly. Anything else she’d need, Olivia would just buy here or borrow from Ava.  
  
Olivia couldn’t help the smile that formed at the thought of Natalia, completely oblivious to the thoughtful look that came into Ava’s eyes. As they laughed and caught up on the way to her car, Ava was sure something was up with Olivia.  
  
Tossing the bag into the back seat, she watched as Olivia checked her phone inbox, another soft smile gracing her face as she quickly typed out a reply to one of the messages. Ava’s eyes narrowed and she slid into the driver’s seat of her Matrix waiting as Olivia finally settled into her seat and pulled on her seatbelt.  
  
“Ok, how about brunch and you can tell me all about the new man in your life that’s texting you?” Ava smiled knowingly as she made her way through the maze of the parking lot.  
  
“How did…?” Olivia started, and then frowned, snapping her mouth closed. A moment of smug silence passed and then Olivia sighed knowing she had wanted to tell her daughter about it all anyway. She just thought that maybe they could ease into it. “You’re too smart for your own good, y’know.”  
  
Ava just smirked and turned out of the parking lot into the quickly moving traffic.  
  
***  
  
Natalia walked into the Mini Mart knowing that she needed to pick up some flour and eggs if she was going to get those cookies made in time for Emma’s return home. Making her way along the aisles she glanced down as her cell phone chimed. It had been about four hours since Olivia’s flight had left and she smiled as she saw the id on her phone come up.  
  
_OSpencer 1:35 p.m._  
Just arrived safe and sound and found Ava no problem. Leaving airport now, I’ll call later. Missing you already.  
XO – Love O  
  
The message left warm tingles fluttering in her stomach and a smile plastered across her lips. Slipping the phone back into her pocket, Natalia moved up to the counter of the mini mart and spoke with the cashier.  
  
“Excuse me? Did you move the flour?” Natalia asked biting her lower lip as the young woman behind the counter tugged her earbuds out and blinked at her a moment before answering.  
  
“Yeah, it’s in aisle two now.” The cashier nodded and pointed to the right. Natalia smiled brightly and turned, suddenly noticing Buzz standing by the doorway, grabbing a grocery basket himself and looking slightly uncomfortable.  
  
Natalia sighed, knowing this was going to be inevitable. Reluctantly she walked towards him, figuring the best course was to just face this head on and get it over and done with.  
  
“Hi.” Natalia said a little cautiously, noticing as Buzz fidgeted and then looked back at her.  
  
“Hi,” Buzz said, scratching the back of his neck self consciously. “You’re shopping.” Natalia looked down into her own basket and then back up at him.  
  
“Yeah, just some little things, baking supplies.” She smiled, wanting to just escape from this conversation but knowing it needed to happen. “You?”  
  
“Just picking some things up.” Buzz shrugged, not sure what to say after everything that had come to light over the last few hours, not the least of which his son’s poor behavior this morning.. This was awkward on so many levels. Natalia sensed it as well, her eyes growing concerned and sad.  
  
“I’m sorry Buzz,” Natalia blurted, wanting to just get it all out in the open. “I’m sorry for everything. You know I never wanted to hurt Frank. I never wanted to hurt anyone in your family.”  
  
Buzz looked down at his feet and shifted his weight, nodding at her words. He knew she meant them, but it was still too fresh. She was going to be part of his family after all.  
  
“Frank’s a good person.” Buzz said looking up and meeting her eyes. Natalia nodded and smiled weakly, not sure what else to do.  
  
“I’m hoping we can still be friends.” Natalia said softly, not really sure if that was possible. Frank had been pretty upset with her at dinner, she can only imagine what he told Buzz and the rest of the Coopers.  
  
Buzz exhaled suddenly, all but rolling his eyes at her innocent words, and looked away from her. Taking a calming breath, he knew it would never happen, Frank was too upset with Natalia, let alone the incident with Olivia that morning. He lifted his hand, as if grasping for the right words  
  
“ Well, uh, maybe someday. I don’t know.” Buzz muttered, staring hard at Natalia’s earnest face. How could she have let his son make such a fool of himself if she didn’t feel the same way about Frank. He felt betrayed and angry, sure for Frank but also for his family in general. “Frank deserved better.”  
  
Natalia nodded, her eyes starting to well with tears. “I know.” Her voice cracked slightly as she began to choke up. “I feel awful.”  
  
“Well, maybe you can make it up,” Buzz murmured sadly, not really expecting Natalia to go for it, but it was worth a shot. “By giving it another chance.”  
  
Natalia just stared at him a moment, giving herself time to let the wave of disappointment dissipate. Even Buzz was against them. Why would she have thought he’d understand? Her dark eyes narrowed and she shook her head, finally sure of what _she_ wanted for a change.  
  
“That’s not going to happen, Buzz.”

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

The Mini Mart seemed suddenly silent, Natalia’s sure words cutting directly to the heart of the matter. Buzz paused a moment and then nodded curtly, message received loud and clear. He had expected no less really, and Lillian had said as much when he had told her about everything that had happened that morning. And yet, he couldn’t help himself.

Natalia was the best thing that had happened to Frank in years, and it had been worth a shot, just in case the girl was unsure. Buzz couldn’t help but be happy for Olivia though, to have found someone finally standing up and claiming her. It would take a little getting used to, mind you.

Buzz bit his lower lip and looked away from Natalia as thoughts of Olivia reminded him of Frank’s outburst that morning. While his son was justified in being angry about the situation, he couldn’t condone hitting Olivia, or any woman for that matter. Maybe he would suggest Frank look into some anger management or counseling. Unable to look Natalia in the eye, Buzz shuffled away embarrassed and not sure what to say, and started to browse down an aisle.

Natalia however was just finding her words. She moved now, anger swelling deep in her guts, as she started down her own aisle, following him. How _dare_ he judge her? This was not over.

“What was I supposed to do, Buzz?” Natalia hissed over the top of a row of stacked cans, trying to catch his attention again. “Just marry him anyway, even though it didn’t feel right? Live a lie and be miserable all my life? I tried to swallow down these feelings for Olivia, for so, so long…” Natalia paused and closed her eyes.

She had fought so hard to deny the feelings, and Olivia had just blown it all away with her graveyard confession. How could she continue to lie to herself and to everyone else, in the face of such honesty and love? Natalia couldn’t, she wouldn’t and she refused to back down now too. Natalia’s eyes blinked open with dark determination flashing in her eyes.

“God knows, I tried Buzz. And it didn’t work, they just became stronger. I love her, Buzz. I do." Natalia's eyes softened at the thought before she continued. "Don’t you see, eventually it would have just ended badly anyway? How could you want that for Frank? For any of us?”

Buzz sighed and ducked his head. She had a very valid point. He didn’t want that for any of them.

“I’m just…” Buzz turned away from the shelf of toilet paper rolls and sighed once more as he gathered his thoughts, before looking back at her. “I’m just a little surprised, y’know. I thought about you as family.” He paused to find the words. “I thought I knew you.”

“You _do_ know me.” Natalia’s eyes widened, a little hurt by his words. Just because she loved Olivia didn’t mean that she was any different. Buzz just stared at her, before waking away down his aisle again. She swallowed hard and followed him again.

“You know I’m all for following your heart,” Buzz said, waving his arms around as he moved. “But if you follow your heart almost to the altar and then you run away from it all and pretend like your relationship with Frank didn’t even happen…”

“I-I-I’m not pretending anything any more, Buzz,” Natalia stammered, anger flashing deep inside again. He had no idea what she had been through the last few months. The confusion and the fear, pretending to not love one person while being all but shoved into the arms of another. It was all messed up and in the end she had hurt so many people. Her basket suddenly slipped from her fingers, crashing to the floor at her feet. With a muttered curse beneath her breath, Natalia knelt and began picking up her few spilt items. Silently Buzz bent down beside her, lending a hand. Tears welled in her eyes as the emotions overwhelmed her again. This was so hard, where was Olivia when she needed her strength? Natalia wiped at a falling tear and quietly tried to explain one more time. “I don’t want to hurt anybody; I don’t want to hurt any of you.”

Buzz merely stared back at her and shook his head before looking away once again.

“I don’t know what to say. I mean…” Buzz paused looking for the right. “When you commit to Frank, when you commit to the family, when you commit to me…” He moved his hand to his chest, hand over his breaking heart, as he shook his head sadly. He watched as Natalia’s eyes filled with tears, knowing her heart was aching as much as his. Reaching his hand out, he cupped her flushed cheek and then placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Next time, think of that before you jump in.”

Buzz sighed sadly and stood. This was a mess on so many levels, but now it was time for him to tend to his family, and to make sure Frank got himself under control before he did anything more stupid than what had happened that morning. Natalia has Olivia now, and Frank has his family. Buzz would make sure he was there for him this time.

“Buzz…I’m sorry,” Natalia said looking up as he straightened his shoulders and stepped around her, heading for the cashier. She sighed, shook her head and kept gathering her stuff. Her cell phone beeped and she pulled it out of her pocket, desperately hoping it was Olivia again.

 _BMarler_ _1:45 pm_  
_Have you eaten? I just got off shift at Company. Late lunch, or drinks, my treat?_

Natalia smiled and quickly sent a text back, agreeing to meet. Standing she made her way toward the cashier to pay. Maybe a little gossip and some laughter was just what she needed.

 

***

Olivia looked out over the busy street as Ava finished ordering her lunch from the waiter. The little patio bistro was packed but Ava knew the owner and they had quickly been ushered to a nice table outside. Her daughter’s new apartment was only a few blocks from here, they would head there next so Olivia would have a chance to see what they had to work with. There was a small interior design firm out in Venice Beach that a friend had hired to do his hotels that she was interested in talking to. She just had to get Ava on board with the idea.

Handing over the menu and picking up her glass of white wine, Ava leaned forward to toast her mother.

“To new beginnings!” Ava smiled as Olivia’s eyes lit up and they touched glasses. It was a very appropriate toast, considering all the new changes going on in both of their lives. Olivia had just taken a sip as she continued. “Now spill. Who’s the new man?”

Olivia coughed a little on her swallow of wine, and laughed.

“Oh, come on. I can tell by the twinkle in your eye,” Ava teased, laughing even more as Olivia blushed slightly and smiled softly. Oh, she had it bad all right.

Olivia glanced out to her right watching the wandering pedestrians, enjoying the warm sunshine on her face as her thoughts turned to Natalia. Across the street, two women held hands as they window shopped. She wanted that so badly with Natalia, something so simple and yet seemed almost impossible in Springfield. Something that was just normal here.

“Oh, my God, Mom!” Ava frowned as she noticed what looked like bruising on her mother’s face. “What happened? It looks like…” Ava’s stomach dropped. It looked like someone had hit her. Just who in the hell was she involved with that would dare do that to her? “Did he _hit_ you?”

Olivia’s hand automatically went to her cheek, still a little tender from Frank’s slap. Apparently her application of foundation wasn’t covering as much as she thought it would.

“Whoa, settle down,” Olivia tried to calm her seething daughter down, smiling at her protectiveness. It was touching really. “It’s fine, it wasn’t the person I’m seeing. And besides," her lip twitched up in a saucy smirk. "You should see the other guy.”

Ava’s eyes widened and then they both started to laugh. Olivia looked down into her wine and swirled the amber liquid thoughtfully. No time like the present to come out apparently. She glanced back at the couple shopping together, relaxed and happy. Well, when in Rome...

“I-I don’t know how to say this, or where to start.” Olivia fidgeted and took a quick sip of wine. She watched as Ava leaned across the table, long fingers wrapping around her arm, giving a warm squeeze of support.

Concerned but wanting to know more, Ava nodded and smiled softly.

“You already have…”

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

Olivia took a deep breath to try to settle her nerves and smiled back at her daughter, the touch of her hand reassuring. This was ridiculous. After all, since when did Olivia Spencer worry about what anyone thought of her?

But Ava wasn’t just anyone, was she?

Olivia sighed and glanced back out at the bustling San Francisco street, a cool breeze starting to blow across her skin soothing her for a moment. This was hard. Harder than she expected it would be. What if Ava turned away from her or cut her off from her life completely? It seemed like they had only just found each other and figured out some sort of decent relationship. Olivia didn’t want to think about losing Ava from her life now. And yet the girl had just moved into the edge of the gay district here in San Francisco, so clearly she wouldn’t be shocked by the idea of two women being together.

But maybe it would be different if it’s her mother…

Ava watched her mother chew her bottom lip suddenly, and could tell something was bothering her. Olivia was a formidable woman, for her to actually show that she was a little rattled, well, it peaked her curiosity to no end.

“Mom, just tell me what’s going on?” Ava tried again to reassure her, smiling softly as Olivia looked back at her, their eyes locking and holding. She’d seen that same guarded look in those green eyes in various boardrooms and uneasy situations back in the day. Olivia was preparing herself for the worst but would refuse to back down. It was something she admired in the older woman. Olivia had balls.

Ava’s eyes narrowed in thought. There was no battle going on now though, so what the hell was going through her mother’s mind?

“It’s been a hard year, last year for all of us,” Olivia started cautiously, her eyes never wavering from Ava’s dark soulful ones. “What with losing the baby, and then my health issues and now Jeffrey is gone missing out there somewhere.”

Ava frowned, not wanting to dwell on any of that, all of it out of her control which she hated. She took a sip of her wine and nodded, waiting for her to continue.

“And I don’t know how we all got through it, with Gus and the baby.” Olivia sighed again. There had been so much pain, so much death. It was almost…

“It’s been overwhelming.” Ava agreed, looking down to fiddle with the napkin beside her plate. Olivia watched her daughter squirm a little, neither of them wanted to go there again.

“I know,” Olivia leaned forward, needing to comfort the girl, and reached out to her. Ava smiled and looked back up, patiently waiting for her to continue. The time had come and Olivia knew it. She took a deep breath and plowed on. “And I don’t think I could have done it without a really special person in my life. Natalia. She saved me.”

“I know.” Ava’s smile widened. She truly liked her mom’s friend. It was good that they could lean on each other. She wished she had a close friend like that in her own life. “She gave you Gus’ heart.” She watched as Olivia swallowed hard and nodded.

“She gave me much more than that.” Olivia continued. “She nursed me back to health and she stood by me,” She glanced down, looking at her fingers entwined with her daughter’s long narrow ones, taking comfort in the simple touch. “Even when I probably didn’t deserve it. And…um…” Olivia shifted and looked back up into Ava’s eyes. “She made me realize how precious life is.”

Ava noted the soft tone her mother’s voice took, and her eyes widened slightly as the wheels started to turn.

“And she taught me how to love.” Olivia leaned forward a little as she started to find her words. She wouldn’t hide this any longer, she couldn’t. It was too big, too important. Natalia was everything and it was time to start telling her family just how important she was to her.

“She’s a very special woman.” Ava said quietly, more bits and pieces starting to fall into place. Things her mom had said during there usual Sunday phone calls to each other, Olivia’s constant inclusion of Natalia in all the family things, her unwavering need to see her friend happy. A hundred other little things, when put together in the right light, suddenly seemed to be making a very different sort of sense.

Olivia moistened her lips, and smiled, her heart thundering as she took the final leap.

“Ava, we fell in love.”

There it was, out it the open. All Olivia could do now was hold her breath and wait.

“You…” Ava stared hard at her mother, trying to comprehend the words. It was one thing to sort of wonder, but to actually hear it from her mother’s mouth, was another thing entirely. “You love…” Ava looked down at their joined hands and paused, before looking back up at her mother, needing to make sure she understood her correctly. “You love Natalia?”

The most amazing smile crossed Olivia’s face and her green eyes seemed to dance with happiness. Ava knew it was the truth before she heard the words fall from her lips. Her mom was in love with another woman.

“I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life.” Olivia said simply, truth resonating in every single word.

Ava blinked and looked away, out over the city street, traffic going by like any other day. Like the world hadn’t suddenly taken a tilt to the left and then righted itself again. She blinked again, digesting the words.

Maybe this explained the five failed marriages...

Ava straightened her shoulders. Life was too damn short to worry about the semantics, the last year or so had more than proven that. Olivia was obviously happy and in love with a really good person. What more could she want for her mother? She turned back and met Olivia’s guarded gaze.

“I think that’s... wonderful.”

Ava’s words washed over Olivia like a blessing from above and she looked down as a wave of relieve crashed through her, tears starting to well. She glanced back up as her daughter squeezed her hand and smiled at her. She couldn’t wait to tell Natalia.


	14. Chapter 14

 

Natalia ran her hand through her long dark hair with a weary sigh. She was more than ready for a drink. Everything seemed to be changing so quickly it was making her head spin and then the run in with Buzz, it was all a little…overwhelming. Glancing down at her cell phone, she was disappointed to find no new texts.

God, she missed Olivia.

Tucking the cell phone back into her pocket, Natalia wandered into Towers and glanced around the busy afternoon clientele, looking for Blake. She smiled and nodded at three women she recognized from church, who all looked somewhat uncomfortable but one waved back with a bright smile.

Natalia frowned. Something seemed not quite right about that, but she pushed it to the back of her mind as she found Blake back in one of the corners near the window. She passed by a familiar couple, realizing as she passed them that it was the Anderson’s, the parents of Emma’s soccer buddy Lisa. She smiled at them, as the wife glared at her and the husband almost leered at her and winked. A bad feeling settled in Natalia’s stomach.

Perhaps even a second glass of wine with lunch would be in order today.

“Hi Blake,” Natalia smiled warmly as the red head grinned up at her, a genuine reaction to her presence at last.

“I’m so glad you could join me,” Blake took a quick sip of her ice water and handed a menu over as Natalia sank down into the chair opposite her. “I don’t know about you, but I am starving.”

It wasn’t long before they both had placed an order for lunch and a glass of wine was in their hands. Blake had updated her on just about all the news that she had come across in her travels over the last few days.

“And then there is the Parent’s First Committee meeting this week, which should be all kinds of interesting,” Blake said just starting to get around to her point for wanting to meet with Natalia.

“Oh?” Natalia asked, a little afraid of what trouble was going to be stirred up because of Doris Wolfe’s over reaction to Emma’s My Two Mommies presentation.

“Yes, especially after that video of everything that happened with Olivia and Frank this morning being uploaded to several…” Blake’s voice faded as she noticed Natalia suddenly freeze at her words, the wineglass stopped mid-way to her lips. “Uhhmm. You do know about the slap heard around the world, don’t you?”

“No Blake,” Natalia put her wineglass down carefully, afraid that she might snap the stem with her fingers, and glanced back up at her friend, waiting for the shoe to drop. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Blake closed her eyes and sighed, annoyed with herself. Damn it, how did she always get herself into these positions? Talking a quick sip of wine to gather her courage and her wits, she pulled out her phone and surfed to the site she knew had the incriminating video.

“I could explain it to you Natalia, but I think you should see it for yourself.” Blake said softly, sliding her device across the tabletop. “This was taken by some girls who were at Company this morning, and they just happened to be sitting in a booth filming a birthday message to a friend when this happened. Look over the girl’s shoulder to the left and you’ll see Olivia come in.”

Blake fell silent as she watched Natalia take the scene in, her eyes widening as the video played out before her. Natalia blinked once, before closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her shoving the phone back across the table top. Blake almost didn’t recognize the woman when she looked back up at her, anger and disgust glittering in the dark depths.

“Where the hell is he, Blake?”

****

Farley’s was busy with the usual afternoon trade, guys mostly, coming in for a quick burger and a drink. The regular barflies were there, lingering around the pool table or the bar, watching whatever sport was on one of the many flat screen televisions around the joint, nursing their beer. Everyone stayed clear of the cop lounging at the far end of the bar, clearly already drunk and no stopping in site.

“Fuckin’ bitch… I’ll figure out what you’ve got on her, I swear it.” Frank grumbled into his bottle of beer, not noticing the door to the bar opening and closing. He didn’t even look up when a familiar woman dropped down onto the stool beside him, her perfume swirling around and chasing away the smell of stale beer. Her cold voice broke through his stupor and he finally glanced up.

“Detective Cooper,” Doris Wolfe smiled dangerously, her eyes flashing with barely controlled anger. The man was pathetic; this would be easier than expected. “I’ve been looking all over town for you.”

“Well it looks like you found me,” Frank took a swig of beer and glanced up at the television set over the bar, not really wanting to be here for this conversation. Deep down, even he knew what had happened with Olivia had been wrong, on so many levels.

“I’ve seen the video, you’re lucky she isn’t going to sue your ass off, or the police department for that matter,” Doris leaned closer, beginning to enjoy herself now. “Funny, Natalia clearly needed someone with a little backbone in her life to take care of her. Maybe you should just man up and move on, lover boy.”

“Shut up,” Frank growled, glaring at the woman, not caring that it was his boss. There were some things even she couldn’t get away with.

“Or what, you’ll hit me?” Doris taunted, as Frank flinched at her words. There would be no living this down, she’d make sure of it. She put a hand on his shoulder and moved closer so only he could hear her. “Let me give you a piece of advice, Detective. If you don’t leave them alone, Natalia might not be the only thing you end up losing.”

“You God damned…” Frank muttered, recognizing the threat to his livelihood even in his inebriated state, but stopping short as he took in the Mayor’s very serious expression.

“It would be a shame if we had to cut loose some of the troublemakers in the police department,” Doris’ voice dropped an octave and she glared at the idiot to make her point. “Don’t tempt me, Frank, because I’ll do it in a heartbeat.”

They glared at each other a moment longer, a tick in Frank’s jaw the only indication of his emotions, before he finally looked away. Doris nodded, tugging at her bright blazer as she silently turned and left the bar.

Frank just ordered another beer and tried not to think about how badly he’d messed his life up.


	15. Chapter 15

It had been a long time coming, but life was definitely good.   
  
Finally.   
  
Olivia smiled softly and let it all soak in. She leaned back in the comfy club chair in her daughter’s apartment and swirled her glass of wine. It finally felt like her life was on the right track, now she just had to get back to Springfield and begin to enjoy it.   
  
The interior designer her friend had recommended from Venice Beach was excellent, with a fantastic eye for detail and quality workmanship, and the woman had hit it off with Ava almost immediately. A flurry of colour swatches and material samples were flying before they had barely sat down. Now three hours later, Olivia could finally relax, knowing that Ava’s move would be in good hands.   
  
Olivia picked up her cell phone and glanced for messages. She had been unable to reach Natalia after lunch, her call going straight to voicemail. No texts had come through either, which was disappointing. It was hard to ignore the niggling feeling that something was wrong, that the inevitable shoe was about to drop, right on her head if past experience was anything to go by. Things never went this well without something coming along to screw things up.   
  
Reluctantly she put her phone back down on the small table beside her. No, she would not second-guess this; she would just relax and enjoy it. Natalia loved her, chose her and was waiting for her to come home and be a family together. It’s not like the woman would run away and disappear out of the blue, leaving her in the lurch. They had come too far, been through too much and Olivia was worrying for nothing, she knew, but it was unusual not to have heard something from Natalia by now. Olivia sighed and frowned despite her internal pep talk. Damn she missed Natalia.   
  
“Penny for your thoughts,” Ava said smiling warmly as she sat down in the chair beside her frowning mother. Although Ava was sure she could likely guess, since Natalia seemed to never be far from her mother’s thoughts. It was sweet really, seeing Olivia like a teenager in love.   
  
“Nothing worth remotely that much money, just wondering where everybody is back home.” Olivia took a sip of her wine and smiled at her eldest daughter.   
  
“By everyone you mean Natalia,” Ava said wisely. It had been a good day out with the designer and now a nice meal was bubbling away in the kitchen, next on the Spencer girls’ agenda.   
  
Olivia didn’t bother to answer, simply cocked an eyebrow and sipped more wine. She missed spending time with Ava and it was all very comfortable and homey here. She could get used to life on the coast. She wondered what Natalia would think of the idea.  Olivia’s phone chimed and her eyes lit up, reaching for it immediately.   
  
“Well, speak of the devil. Say hi to Natalia,” Ava smirked knowingly, thrilled at how happy her mother looked from a simple phone call. She hopped up and dropped a quick kiss to her mom’s head before dashing back into the kitchen to check on her pasta.   
  
“Hey there,” Olivia swatted at Ava in passing and then focused on the phone call. “Missing me yet?”   
  
“Not really, Slugger, but I thought I’d touch base with you before any lawyers come knocking on my office door.”   
  
“Doris, what the hell?” Olivia looked back at her phone. It clearly was from Natalia’s cell number, the brunette’s happy face chomping on a chocolate chip cookie beaming up at her from the contact photo.   
  
“First of all, I wasn’t sure you’d answer my call, so that’s why I’m using Natalia’s phone.” Doris hesitated a moment and then before Olivia could ask any of the million questions racing through her mine she continued. “Secondly, don’t worry, Natalia is fine. She is however in custody down at the police station.”   
  
“NATALIA IS IN CUSTODY?” Olivia stood up not believing what she was hearing. “What is going on there, how did…what happened?” A sick feeling settled in the pit of Olivia’s stomach, a logical conclusion jumping to the forefront of her mind. “It was fucking Frank Cooper again, wasn’t it?”   
  
“I just want to let you know that I’m on your side here, Olivia. Yours and Natalia’s, and I’m working now to have the charges dropped. I spoke with Frank this afternoon and reprimanded him for the shit show today. The whole viral video thing is totally out of our control, however I am working on it.”   
  
“Wait, what?” Olivia covered one ear to hear better. “What viral video? What the hell are you talking about Wolfe?”   
  
“Um…the video of Frank and you this morning in Company.” She could hear Doris’ smirk in her voice. “Or as we are calling it, the Slap Heard Around the World.”   
  
“Shit,” Olivia touched her cheek, still tender from Frank’s thick palm. She had just wanted to forget about the man but apparently someone had a video of the whole sordid mess. Natalia must be pissed off with her, for giving as good as she got instead of turning the other cheek. No wonder there had been no contact from Natalia today. Her heart sank, the sound of the other shoe dropping echoing loud in her mind.   
  
“I’m on the Springfield gossip website now and we’re working on pulling the video down with a court order, but it’s taking time. Oh…what’s this? They’ve just loaded another video. Oh, Olivia…” Doris began to laugh. “I read the official police report but this is even better! OH MY GOD! I didn’t know Natalia went all South Side on his sorry ass. You are gonna have your hands full with this girl, let me tell you...”   
  
Olivia sighed in frustration as peals of laughter echoed across the miles. Dear God, what was going on back home?   
  
The laughter died quickly though.   
  
“Oh shit. I had no idea it got that rough…” Doris’ voice turned serious. “Damn it Frank. What were you thinking.”   
  
“Doris,” Olivia’s stomach dropped at the tone of her friend’s voice. “What’s the site address.”   
  
“I’m texting you the link now.” 


	16. Chapter 16

“Where the hell is he...”

 

Natalia grumbled to herself as she stepped through the door of Farley’s bar. She had been feeling awful about how she had essentially used him to hide from her true feelings. Blake had opened her eyes though, seen the mean little boy he kept inside and she would be damned if she would let Frank Cooper get away with anything anymore.

 

Especially where Olivia was concerned.

 

Natalia glared around the small space, her eyes adjusting to the dimly lit room as she hunted for her ex-fiancé.

 

“Hey, Sweetheart, I got what you’re looking for right here,” a particularly greasy barfly grabbed at his denim covered member with his grubby hand and leered over at her. His half-cut cronies cackled away at his words, elbowing each other as they stood around the pool table. The words ‘lezbo’ and ‘dyke’ were tossed around in the general nattering as well.

 

Natalia had hoped she could keep this quiet, just between herself and Frank. However Springfield was a small town after all and the gossip mill was lively for such a sleepy place. These brazen old men before her were only repeating what others were saying behind her back. She would have none of it today though. She’d had about enough of everyone meddling in her affairs.

 

“Let’s not discuss your…shortcomings, shall we, _sweetheart?_ ” Natalia raked her eyes down his body and focused on his crotch, before rolling her eyes. The man’s buddies laughed at her sass. Natalia had no time for this and she began to scan the folks sitting at the bar. “I’m looking for Frank Cooper.”

 

“Oh, sure, NOW you want me.” A familiar voice muttered a bit further down the line. Natalia turned to find Frank lounging on a bar stool, popping peanuts into his mouth and staring up at the television screen, studiously ignoring her.

 

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Natalia snapped back, drawing Frank’s attention. She took in his unfocused gaze as his eyes met hers, a dull anger glittering there just below the surface. If Frank wanted a fight, she was ready to oblige. Frank frowned at her words and turned away, back to his half-finished beer.

 

“If you’ve come to tear a strip off me for my discussion with Olivia this morning, you can take a number. Doris Wolfe beat you to it.” Frank took a swig of his drink and set his jaw stubbornly. He would not apologize to anyone for his actions, no matter what his father thought.

 

“Discussion?” Natalia grabbed the bottle from his hand and slammed it down onto the bar top. “You assaulted her, Frank. That was not a conversation, it was a confrontation. And I will not have you harassing her or any of us any further.”

 

“Come on, Natalia, this isn’t you and you know it,” Frank snarled back, his anger returning with a vengeance. This was all Olivia’s fault, turning Natalia into some twisted pervert. Typical. He tried to reason with her one more time. “I just don’t get it. What does she have on you? Did she promise you something or holding something against you or Rafe?”

 

Natalia pinched the bridge of her nose, and tried really hard not to slap the dope. She could certainly understand why Olivia had whacked him back that morning.

 

“It couldn’t possibly be that I love her, could it, Frank?,” Natalia sighed and met his hardened gaze. “I love her, and unbelievably she loves me too.” She crossed her arms as Frank shook his head and rolled his eyes at her words. It was like they didn’t even speak the same language. What did she ever see in a man like him?

 

“She can’t take care of you like I can, satisfy you the way a woman needs to be, like a real man can…” Frank drunkenly stood, swaying slightly, determined to make his point. How could a sweet thing like Natalia be with Olivia Spencer of all people?

 

“Let me know when a real man shows up.” Natalia stepped back, bumping into the pool table behind her. A pool stick rolled towards her and she grabbed it, pleased to have something to defend herself if needed.

 

“Don’t be like that,” Frank whined. “You sound like her, all cocky and…and…” He waved his hands searching for the right words.

 

“And what, Frank? Self-assured? Witty? Smart?” Natalia stepped forward. “Olivia is all those things and more. She’s brave and loyal and a good mother. You aren’t even in her league and yet you DARE to attack her, lay your meaty paws on her.” The flush of anger at the thought of him hurting Olivia rushed through her, as Natalia jerked the pool stick between his legs and raised it higher. Frank yelped, his family jewels suddenly threatened.

 

“Natalia, I—I…” He tried to ease away, but Natalia would have none of it. She stepped forward, forcing Frank back up against the bar. There would be no running from this conversation that was long over due.

 

“Shut up, Frank. For God’s sake, just shut your mouth and listen to me for a change.” Natalia ground out, her anger taking hold. The frustrations of the last few months bubbled to the surface, there was no stopping it, even if she wanted to. It was time for the truth even if it hurt.

 

“You know what you were to me, Frank? YOU WERE A PITY FUCK! That’s ALL.” Natalia hissed, lifting the pool stick higher again, assuring that she had is full and complete attention. “I felt bad for you Frank. You were sad and hurting and I wanted to take that from you, for a brief moment.” Her eyes softened, remembering. “ At the same time I was terrified of what I was feeling for Olivia, so I wanted to prove to myself that of course I liked men. That there was no way I was falling in love with my best friend.”

 

Natalia swallowed hard, ashamed of her own motives but she would not turn from the truth now.

 

“And you know what? I failed miserably.” Natalia ground out. “I hurt you. I hurt Olivia. I hurt so many people with that one mistake Frank. And that’s what it was, a mistake.”

 

“Natalia, honey…” Frank tried to interrupt, but Natalia would have none of it. His words stirred the anger deep in her belly again.

 

“Frank, don’t you see. The whole time we were in that bed together, all I could think of was her. Imagining Olivia’s lips kissing me, her hands touching me, trying so hard not to call our her name when I...” Natalia faltered, her words hitting their mark as Frank’s eyes grew wider. “Can you understand that? That I was running away from the truth.”

 

The silence was deafening, the truth echoing deep in both of their souls. There was no stepping back from this down the road.

 

“That stops now.” Natalia leaned forward, shoving a finger into his chest. “I will not run from this any longer. I will not apologize and I will not hide who and what I am. I am in love with Olivia Spencer and I am going to hold on to that everyday miracle for as long as she will have me.”

 

Natalia eased back, the anger slowly releasing its grip on her. Frank seemed almost shell shocked at her rant, but she felt that he had finally heard and understood what she was saying. Suddenly to their right down the bar came a shattering sound, like beer bottles crashing, drawing their attention.

 

The barflies stopped watching the spectacle before them, nervous eyes peered over beer bottles, discussions ceased in mid-sentence, as an air of tense expectancy stretched on. The football commentary from the flat screen TV prattled on, disjointed and loud in the sudden hush.

 

And then, all hell broke loose.

 

“BAR FIGHT!”

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter could trigger folks. There is physical violence, some of it is sexual in nature. Please read in a safe mindset.

Damn, that felt good! 

Natalia grinned as shards of glass rained down around her, letting the neck of the broken bottle fall from her fingers and heard it shatter completely at her feet. The large man to her right blinked and then slid a little slower to the ground, unconscious. One lumbering barfly down, one to go. 

“Now, I believe you were saying something about you don’t hit girls?” Natalia panted, enjoying the adrenalin rush flowing through her veins. “You know what? Me neither, Sunshine.”

Natalia stepped back, her body pressed against the jukebox, looking up at the sputtering and insulted man before her. She bit her lip, her mind racing as she once again tried to figure out the best strategy to get out of Farley’s bar as quickly as possible before she got hurt.

“I know you don’t mean me, sister.” The man finally growled, stretching up to his full 6 foot 7 inches. Before Natalia could reply a chair splintered apart across his broad shoulders, dropping him next to his buddy on the floor. 

Natalia glanced up at her unexpected saviour and grinned at the diminutive waitress, the only other woman in the entire place.

“You’re welcome. Now get out of here, honey, the cops are on their way.” The older woman smiled back, flicking her long bleach blonde hair back out of her eyes, before side stepping out of the way of two more grappling patrons. “Lester, do not dent the jukebox. Do you even know how much they cost to repair?”

Natalia shook her head and headed for the nearest exit. Unfortunately she didn’t get very far. Frank spun with surprising agility, his muscle memory and training apparently kicking in, even in the state that he was in.

“Not so fast, we are not finished here…” Grabbing Natalia’s arms he pushed her hard into the side of the pool table, her stomach hitting hard against the rail, her face pushed down onto the green felt, balls scattering around her. 

“Uff—“Natalia gasped, the wind knocked from her as she felt her body slam into the table, her head connecting hard with the slate tabletop. She felt dizzy and her vision blurred, twinkling lights behind her eyelids suddenly flashing. A strong meaty hand held her down, pressed firmly between her shoulder blades. 

“It’s always the quiet ones, into the kinky stuff, I should have figured.” Frank forced her legs wider apart, stepping closer to press and grind into her ass, smiling as he leaned forward. 

“Go to hell, Frank,” Natalia gasped, disgusted. The stench of his breath wafted over her, panic rising painfully in her guts, churning and clenching. Suddenly she struggled harder, trying desperately to get away, looking for something, anything to defend herself. Wiggling slightly she was able to bring her foot down hard on the instep of Frank’s right foot. 

“Damn it!” He cried out, surprised at her tenacity. “That’s it, you’re under arrest for assaulting an officer.” Frank’s eyes were hard as he forced Natalia face back down onto the tabletop and clicked his handcuffs onto her narrow wrists. “All you need is a reminder of what you’re missing to get you back on the straight and narrow. And I’m just the MAN for the job.” He yanked her roughly up and pulled her towards the exit, making his way towards the person holding the camera.

Frank’s face loomed into the camera phone, his thick hand coming up to block the shot, sending the video image to black screen. His voice was still clearly heard. “Get this damn thing out of my face or you’re next, asshole…”

***

The screen went black and the next YouTube video began its countdown. 

“Fuck!” Olivia ran a shaking hand through her hair and let out a long breath. She had to get help to Natalia right now. She grabbed her cell phone and scrolled down her contacts to a familiar name on the list. She checked her watch as the phone rang. She was pretty sure that she still had time to catch the next plane to Chicago yet tonight.

“Hi Mel? It’s Olivia. I need you to go down the Springfield police station immediately. I think Natalia is in trouble.” A few more brief details were exchanged and Olivia hung up on her lawyer. She looked over as Ava sank down on the couch beside her, tickets and boarding passes already printed.

“Our flight leaves in an hour.”

“Our?” Olivia asked, surprised but grateful. Ava just smiled and squeezed her mother’s shoulder, before standing and getting herself packed up. Olivia glanced down at the home screen shot of her phone, her thumb sliding over Natalia’s smiling face.

“Hang on, Natalia, we’re on our way.”

***

Fucking Frank Cooper.

Natalia snorted to herself. That’s what had gotten her into this mess in the first place. She ran a hand through her long dark hair and sighed, shifting on the narrow cot to try to relieve her sore back and stared up at the bare light bulb glowing in her dingy cell. 

Well, this certainly wasn’t how she expected to end the day. There had been warm cookies and milk with lots of giggles and snuggles with Jellybean on her agenda, maybe a Skype session with Olivia and Ava before bedtime. Thankfully Beth and Phillip had been able to pick up Emma and look after her, but that had been her one phone call. Philip said not to worry he would look after everything and follow up with Olivia, which had been a relief. Natalia wasn’t sure how she’d be able to explain it all to Olivia anyway. 

Standing, Natalia rubbed her lower back and tried to stretch, the throbbing ache growing worse. She started to pace in the small cell, the anger quickly bubbling to the surface again, the headache she had been fighting all day returning with a vengeance. She still couldn’t believe Frank had struck Olivia. She couldn’t believe that she had ended up in a bar room brawl either. It was the image of Olivia being struck that stayed with her though. Her head snapping back, the stunned look on her face, the disbelief followed quickly by anger flashing in her eyes.

“Oh, Olivia,” Natalia shook her head, trying to shake the image from her mind’s eye. It was like it was on repeat, over and over again. A hot wave of fresh anger and frustration washed over her, followed quickly by a shooting pain radiating across her back. Natalia gasped, as it rolled around to her lower stomach, then doubled over as the cramp pain became overwhelming.

“OH, GOD!” What was happening? A wave of nausea hit next, along with another clenching pain across her back, forcing her to her knees, desperately trying to catch her breath.

Something was terribly wrong…

“Natalia Rivera, your lawyer is here.” A burly police officer appeared at the door of the tiny cell, just as the world seemed to narrow down into a pinprick of light. She turned towards the voice, why did the guard sound so far away? Reaching out blindly, Natalia fell unconscious to the floor, a pool of blood beginning to bloom on her pants.


End file.
